Ask the Akatsuki!
by dongz-sempai95
Summary: my first interactive fanfic! the title tells everything, doesn't it?
1. intro!

Hello

Hello! This is the intro for my first interactive fanfic, Ask the Akatsuki! So if you'll send a question for the akatsuki please send it as a review. **BUT**, please follow the rule/s below. Thank you! If you're really persistent in the don'ts I'LL TELL MY DANNA!!

**DON'T **send a yaoi question!! Well, maybe shonen-ai but _no yaoi!!_

…….well…I guess that's all the rules you need to know so please, REVIEW AND SEND QUESTIONS!! Oh yeah, you can send questions for other characters other than the akatsuki like naruto …so…um…review??

By your author/s,

dongz-sempai95 (me)

jjle-danna (my danna XD!!)


	2. 4 already!

dongz: wow! In less than 24 hours I already have 4 questions! Isn't that nice, danna!!

Sasori: who? me? I aint your danna!

dongz-sempai: not you, bonehead! i meant my danna!

jjle: im her danna! Not you! Anyway, say the disclaimer, sempai!

dongz: no way! You're the danna around here!

jjle: well youre the sempai around here!

dongz, jjle: -shoots death glares at each other-

all the akatsuki members except tobi: -sweatdrop-

tobi: well! Since dongz-sempai and jjle-san is having an argument, I'll say the disclaimer! -clears throat- dongz-sempai doesnt own Naruto or any characters in her except her danna and her dignity! Tobi is a good boy! Tobi is a good boy!

dongz: oookkk...since the disclaimer is out lets read the first question! -reads the question-

**from: choko tatsu **

**in my fanfiction, "Revival"  
itachi makes Rachel Ray look like an idiot by cooking enough food for ten in five minutes.  
Are you OK w/ that Itachi-san?**

Itachi: well...as long as someone is my slave its fine

Deidara: yeah, and because you use the mangekyo sharingan most of the time everytime you cook food you always burn it so hard with amaterasu that even zetsu cant swallow it, hm..

Pein: and thats the reason why we cant let you cook food for us...

Hidan: I thought its because he's so fucking blind that he puts the fucking pan in the fucking oven and that he sets the goddamn kitchen on fire -thinks thoughtfully-

pein: that too..

jjle- ohhh! So thats the reason why I saw a kisame causing floods in your base!

Kisame: I was trying to extinguish the fire.

Kakuzu: yeah, you extinguished it alright but all our belongings got destroyed because of the flood you caused. Do you know how much the damage costs me in repairs!? Its worth 3 years of salary! --

dongz: next question!

jjle: -reads the next question-

**from: Kayamie1224 **

**are pein and konan going out(can we post joke questions)**

dongz: of course you can post joke questions! :P

jjle: -reading a fanfic in his computer- oh no! sasori musnt leave!! He still got unfinished business with deidei! Dammit! Why do itachi really has to like deidara! I'll kill that weasel!

dongz: OMG! You reading Scholarship by Raintrees?! KILL THE WEASEL!! -peering at jjle's computer screen-

Akatsuki: O,o

Itachi: what..the..hell...

dongz, jjle: ITADEISASO 4EVER!!

Akatsuki: 0,o ??

Tobi: oh! Lets answer the question! Lets see...-reads the question- sempai, what does this mean?

Deidara: -slaps forehead then sighs- fine, hm. I'll answer the question, hm. I don't think they'll go out today but I guess tomorrow, hm.

Hidan: but I heard pein and papergirl will go out after this chapter.

Tobi: -cofused- sempai, what does the question mean? Does it mean they'll be going outside the base to fight a jinchuriki?

Sasori: next question, please!

dongz: danna, I wonder who deidara will pick...sasori-san or itachi-kun?

jjle: I just hope deidei will pick saso...

Hidan: WTF?! Lemme see! -reads the fanfic-

Konan: ooooooh!! Let me see, dammit! -shoves hidan to the side- -reads the fanfic-

jjle: ok, now for the next question. -reads the next question-

**from: Draco Master **

**Okay... This should not be yaoi but... is deidara... a... girl?**

dongz: what on earth?! Of course she's a girl! Look at her! -points at deidara-

deidara: -is angry- WTF?! I'M A GUY, DAMMIT!

jjle: -reads a chart- but according to the poll in our class, 90 of our classmates think you're a girl! And there are debates that happened to clarify if youre a he or a she! In short, -points his finger dramatically to deidara-...you a GIRL!

Deidara: I told you, I'M A GUY! I DONT HAVE BOOBS OR ANYTHING A GIRL OWNS, HM!

dongz: then I have evidence that youre a girl! -shows deidara's diary and the pic in it which is his 'date' with sasori- ha!

Sasori, deidara: WTH?!

**Black-side zetsu: ha! I told he was a girl! You owe me 5 bucks!**

_White-side zetsu: 0h man! Ha..a bet's a bet.. -hands 5 dollars to himself...er.. the black half-_

Deidara: -strangles dongz and jjle- GODDAMN YOU! FUCKING BITCHES!

**THIS SCENE HAS BEEN CUT FOR THE PROTECTION FOR THE LITTLE ONES. SO WHILE OUR GUEST IS KILLING...ER...TRYING TO PERSUADE OUR HOSTS LETS WATCH THIS COMMERCIAL**

random guy: -walking-

announcer: hey you! -points to the guy-

random guy: -points to himself- who? Me?

Announcer: yeah! -puts his arm around the guy- hey, do you have problems in your marriage??

Random guy: uh...yeah...

Announcer: well why wait to get the problems a lot worse?! Its time for a divorce!

Random guy: divorce?! But I love my family!

Announcer: you may love your family, but dont you think your needs such as screwing other women and being a bad boy is much more important? Get a divorce! Just sign it here! Its free! Only 3 secongds to male paradise!

**ER.. MAYBE THAT COMMERCIAL IS A LITTLE _OUT-OF-HAND_! OH LOOK! THE STRANGLING IS DONE!**

_back to regular programming..._

tobi: deidara-sempai! Why did you stuff dongz-sempai and jjle-sempai in the closet?

Deidara: -tries to change the subject- NEXT QUESTION, HM!

dongz, jjle: -breaks open the closet-

Deidara: O,o holy shit!

dongz, jjle: -starts kicking deidara-

evil tobi: -cheering- GO! KILL THAT STUPID LITTLE BLONDIE!

Pein: okkk...-looks around- well, since our hosts are kicking one of our members I'll read the next question.

**From: 9shadowcat9 **

**Sounds good. Why did Itachi kill his clan and what is it with Deidara and explosions?**

itachi: I killed them for my own reason... -activates mangekyo sharingan-

rest of the idle akatsuki members: O,o

sasori: -bored as hell- as usual, that brat calls it 'art' but it doesn't even look like art at all! Art is eternal!

Deidara: -still getting kicked- no danna, hm! Art...ow!...is...ow!!...FLEETING!!...OUCH!! -faints-

Hidan, konan: -sobbing quietly-

Konan: -wiping her tears away- dramatic shonen-ai sure is great!

Hidan: -sobbing too- can you pass me the tissue? -sniffle-

jjle: ok...well, this chapter is up!

Tobi: awww! And no one asked me about anything! Tobi is a good boy! So please send questions by pressing that 'submit review' button down there and ask me anything since tobi is a good boy!

_**BROUGHT TO YOU BY THE SEMPAI-DANNA SYSTEM. REMEMBER, SEMPAIS HAVE MORE AUTHORITY THAN DANNAS!**_

Sasori: dammit! Dannas have more authority!


	3. 3 in 24 hours

jjle: ok…

jjle: ok….since sempai is a little irritated today I'll be the one to say the disclaimer. dongz-sempai doesn't own naruto. –reads a letter- and if she did, the akatsuki would've attained world domination, the number 1 religion in the narutoverse is jashinism (hidan's religion or whatever its called), people and every shinobi must pay taxes to kakuzu, and LASTLY, there are only 2 types of art. –looks at dongz- so are you saying the akatsuki wins, sempai?

dongz: pretty much... and I'll start already –reads first question-

**from: jjle-danna**

**Ok, this looks cool so here's my question. I'd like to know what Deidara's clay tastes like?**

dongz: O,o what on earth, danna?! You also have a question??

jjle: yeeeesssss…

deidara: my clay tastes like playdoh, ok?!

Evil tobi: and what does playdoh tastes like, stupid blondie? I mean, who would eat clay?? Does it tastes like your shit or zetsu's shit?

Deidara: -irritated- shut up tobi, hm! And it _doesn't_ tastes like shit or anyone's shit at all, hm! And pipe down!

Evil tobi: your not the boss of me now, blondie who likes his danna! –activates mangekyo sharingan-

Deidara: -caught in tobi's tsukuyomi-

_Somewhere in genjutsu land..._

Deidara: ha! You do know I trained my left eye to dispel the sharingan's genjutsu, hm! So you cant do anything that much to me, hm!

Evil tobi: oh, but since im madara uchiha my genjutsu level is higher than that itachi. Now, 72 hours of torture about to begin...

Deidara: what are you gonna do ,hm?! Stab me w/ swords, hm??

Evil tobi: -grins- oh, I have something that is much worse than that!

_Back at the studio..._

Deidara: -still in an illusion- AAAAHHHH!! SASORI-DANNA!! DON'T DO THIS TO ME, PLEASE!!

Everyone: O,o

Sasori: what the hell...

Deidara: -still in tobi's genjutsu- PLEASE DANNA! DONT BREAK UP FROM ME!!

jjle: what the hell... –then realizes something- OMG! Dei really has a relationship w/ saso?!

Everyone: -le gasp-

Deidara: -faints-

Tobi: -confused- what happened to deidara-sempai, kisame-sempai?

Kisame: -really freaked out from tobi- EEEEPPP!! GET HIM AWAY FROM ME, ITACHI-SAN! –takes cover behind itachi-

Itachi: -sweatdrop-

dongz: -sweatdrop- ooookkkk... I'll read the next the next question before tobi goes madara on us again..-reads next question-

**from: 9shadowcat9**

**Tobi, how can you be a good boy if you're an S class villan and are you Obito Uchiha? And is Pein really the 4th hokage? And Itachi, if you killed them for your own reasons why'd you leave your 'brat' of a little bro alive. #Mutters; You'd have been doing us all a favour by killing him.#**

Tobi: tobi is a good boy because zetsu-san said to me that if I became a missing nin and an S class criminal then im a good boy! –is happy- and im not obito uchiha! Tobi is tobi and tobi is a good boy! Who's obito uchiha anyway?

Pein: how could I be the 4th hokage if he's dead? And do I look like the 4th? –grabs a poster of the 4th hokage out from nowhere- he has blonde hair, I don't. he has no piercings, I _have _piercings. Now, am I the 4th? Of course not!

jjle: well... one of the myths about the akatsuki leader is that he's the yondaime hokage so who wouldn't get confused?

itachi: its because i want to have his eyes once he attains the mangekyo sharingan and so i could never go blind.. i wouldve killed him a long time ago if the mangekyo doesnt make the user go blind...

jjle: NEXT!

**From: Kayamie1224**

**hidan, do you use your religon as an excuse because you cant get any girls?**

Hidan: wtf?! Its not a fucking excuse! Goddamn you! If I didn't believe in jashin I wouldn't be immortal at all! –glares-

Itachi: oh but didn't you asked me one day that why doesnt jashin fucking answer your fucking love letters?

Everyone: O,o

dongz: ookkk.. since that is the last question and that this is getting freakier by the second I think it's the end of this chapter..

jjle: so please send more questions and reviews..

_**BROUGHT TO YOU BY THE SEMPAI-DANNA SYSTEM. REMEMBER, SEMPAIS HAVE MORE AUTHORITY THAN DANNAS!**_

Sasori: will this thing shut up!!

Deidara: I kinda like this sponsor though, hm..

Sasori: -stabs deidara w/ a fork in anger-

Deidara: AAAHH!! IT HURTS LIKE HELL!!

dongz: ??


	4. 3 again on 1 day

jjle: lets make this quick. I don't want to be kept waiting in here.

dongz: -disapproving- yes, _danna.._ –clears throat- I do not own naruto. I only own my dignity and my belongings and also my inpatient danna over there. –points in the direction of jjle-

jjle: -growls-

dongz: -sweatdrop- okkk.. lets go for the first question already.. –reads first question-

**from: Zozo.x**

**Heya i have a question**

**well**

**Itachi do you care for sasuke a little, you have to love him a lil right or and will you marry me -glomps-**

**erm okie as i cant ask any yaoi questions about sasodei mm**

**deidara wats with the hair im sorry it really is girlish and how close are you and sasori -winks-**

**and tobi ahh are you madara or obito**

jjle: answer already!! I. DO _**NOT**_. WANT TO STAY!! –brandishes a chainsaw to all of the ones questioned-

dongz: danna, please put down your chainsaw... you'll scare the audience -sweatdrop-

everyone: O,o heh??

Itachi: 0,o –mutters to himself- I better answer the question.. um, yes. I love my little brother as a sibling but that love is the tiniest shred of love you'll see in me. And please, I don't want to marry you and will fangirls _STOP _glomping me! i...i...don't like it.. T.T

dongz: heh?? And I thought criminals doesn't have emotions at all...and here I am seeing the great mass-murderer itachi uchiha whining in front of national tv..?,?

kisame: itachi-san is sometimes like that.. whining over no reason..

hidan: -videos the scene- bloody Kodak moment.. XD

jjle: -getting more impatient- answer the question!!

dongz: -holds up a cookie- danna, youre a good boy, right?

jjle: -sees the cookie- COOKIE!! JEYNALD IS A GOOD BOY!! JEYNALD IS A GOOD BOY!! –grabs the cookie then bites on it happily-

akatsuki: -sweatdrop-

deidara: -rolls eyes- great, hm. We got a host that is as impatient as sasori-danna and as retarded as tobi, hm... now, whats the question for me again, hm..-reads the question- -gets irritated- my hair aint girly, hm! I prefer it this way because danna once said that I look like a lady w/ my hair down, hm!

Sasori: who wouldn't say that to you anyway? You look _exactly _like a girl w/ your hair down.

Deidara: -pouts- I hate you danna, hm! I hope youre dead on the spot, hm!

jjle, dongz: -le gasp-

jjle: -all impatience disappeared- DEIDARA-SEMPAI! Always be careful of what u wish for! Who knows, sasori-san might die on that very spot and youll regret it!

Deidara: -sighs- fine, hm! But I better finish answering the questions, hm. Lets see again, hm.. –reads the question again- we're just partners and artists, hm. Nothing more, hm..

Evil tobi: -snickers- ...and lovers

Hidan: -grins wickedly- that's true, dei-chan! We spied both of you during your dates!

Kisame: -grins as he presents 2 albums filled w/ the artists' dates-

Audience and hosts: -le gasp-

Konan: -to pein- pein-sama, were you drunk when you picked these underlings of yours?

Pein: -puzzled- no, why?

Konan: -disgusted- its because of their 'activities'

Pein: -shakes head- this must be the result of an all-men and one-woman organization.

dongz: -thinks to herself- _I better get to the next question. Oh wait, tobi hasn't answered his question. _–to tobi- erm...tobi-dono?

Evil tobi: -whirls around- what?

dongz: erm...please answer the question.

Evil tobi: yes, I am madara, one of the founding fathers of konoha and the uchiha clan's greatest ancestor. –activates sharingan-

jjle: -sweatdrop- um...madara-sama, your scaring me sometimes.. oh well, NEXT!

dongz: -reads the next question-

**from: SushiFork**

**So... I have to know since the Manga is too slow to tell me. Itachi, why did you let yourself die?! You just don't pass out and die. Please explain this in detail to me and why you can't live on forever as your sexy self.**

Itachi: -has a severe nosebleed-

Kisame: -smiles- so itachi, you like the pics??

Deidara: DAMN YOU, HM! –is angry-

jjle: erm... itachi? You ok? You have a question.. –waves a hand at itachi's dazed look-

itachi: -suddenly snaps back into reality- -closes his eyes- AAAHHHH!! WHY CANT I BE BLIND!! –shudders and shivers-

jjle: okkk.. maybe its time for a commercial –sweatdrop-

_COMMERCIAL BREAK..._

Hidan: want to know the fucking pics in the fucking albums kisame owns? Go to deviantART ! we posted all of the goddamn pics on that freaking website so just search '**sasodei**' and you'll find it in a few bitching seconds! Easy, doesn't it? Go now!

deidara: -is angry- DAMN YOU HIDAN, HM!

_BACK TO THE PROGRAM..._

Itachi: -is now better- ok, let me answer the question already. –reads the question- the reason is that the mangekyo weakened then killed me, and that if you kept reading, I passed down the mangekyo to my foolish little brother to kill madara uchiha. Though I want to live forever in my beautiful, sexy look I have to give sasuke the mangekyo since im going blind because of it. And so to kill madara.

Tobi: -puzzled- who's madara, deidara-sempai?

Deidara: -mutters to himself- great, I met all 3 remaining uchihas and the worse of it _I HATE ALL OF THEM_, hm.

Tobi: -puzzled- what did u say, deidara-sempai?

jjle: NEXT!

dongz: -reads next question-

**from: Kayamie1224**

**Hey, it Jashin a boy or girl ?.?**

Hidan: -nervous- jashin is..jashin is...

Kakuzu: what? Male or female?

Hidan: -really nervous- i... i... I DON'T FUCKING KNOW!! –collapses-

Konan: -peers at the unconscious hidan- whoa! Talk about hard-to-answer questions.

dongz: well, that's the end of the chapter.

jjle: so people please keep sending questions and reviews.

Zetsu: -is happy- finally! We're starving! –puts kisame into his mouth-

Kisame: -in zetsu's mouth- EEEEPPP!! HELP MEEEE!! –kicks his legs around-

Itachi, pein, konan: -tries to pull kisame out of zetsu's mouth-

Evil tobi: -grimaces- pathetic.

_**BROUGHT TO YOU BY THE SEMPAI-DANNA SYSTEM. REMEMBER, SEMPAIS HAVE MORE AUTHORITY THAN DANNAS!**_

jjle: -to dongz- sempai, why is this our sponsor? We should have picked another sponsor, like Cookie Palace!

Tobi: COOKIES! PLUSHIES! COOKIES!!

Orochimaru: -to sasori- -seductively- hey sasori..

Sasori: EEEEPPP!! I HATE YOU, ORO! I HATE YOU! –embraces dei tightly-

Orochimaru: -heartbroken- saso-kun, why did you dumped me? TT.TT

Deidara: WHAT?!


	5. 3 again in 4 days

dongz: hiya! We're back!

jjle: -to dongz- time for the disclaimer, sempai! n.n

dongz: mmkay, danna. I do not own naruto or any characters here except my own danna!

jjle: -is a little irritated- I own myself, sempai...

dongz: -rolls her eyes- fine. -spots orochimaru at the guest couch, who's rubbing his head on sasori's arm- O.o heh??

sasori: -disgusted- ugh.. and I cant believe he ever became my partner...

dongz: -whispers to pein- pein-sama, why is orochimaru in here, in his old akatsuki costume and the official akatsuki ring you tried to get from him??

Pein: -sweatdrops at the scene- even I don't know...

Orochimaru: oh! Saso-kun!

Deidara: -ish angry- STOP CALLING ME DANNA LIKE THAT, HM! –already prepared his specialty-

dongz: -hides behind jjle- danna! He's scaring me!! I don't like ugly snakes!

Everyone except orochimaru: -sweatdrop-

jjle: eh... oh well, time to read questions... –reads first question-

**from: -the-eighth-hokage-**

**So... based fom what I've read i have some questions.**

**1) Itachi, as a brother do you approve of the Sasuke and Sakura pairing or do you want Sakura for yourself?**

**2) Tobi, what's under your mask? And why from all the colors why does it have to be orange?**

**3) If you were to be given a chance to change something about yourself what would it be? (group answer)**

Itachi: -rubs his chin thoughtfully- sakura...sakura... sakura?

Kisame: -whispers into itachi's ear- the girl w/ the pink hair who always hang out w/ the kyuubi kid...

Itachi: -remembers- oh! You mean the kunoichi that killed sasori w/ the help of his granny? I don't really care if she got paired up w/ my foolish little brother as long as I don't get paired up w/ anyone. I don't even want that sakura.

jjle: -shakes his head- itachi-san, writers today has creative imagination so don't get shocked if you saw an itadei or itakisa fanfic around here.

All akatsuki members: oh my god...

jjle: -grins- and we really like the itadesaso threesome XD

dongz: true.. XD

konan: -disgusted- ugh...

dongz: -points a finger to konan- don't get disgusted about it! U even like it! Don't deny it.

Konan: -clearly denying- I do not!

jjle: -shows the pics of kisame's albums of saso and dei-

konan: -le gasp- OH! SO HOT PICS!! –immediately grabs the albums then stares at it like a crazed fangirl-

dongz: -realizes something- oh people! Answer the questions!

Tobi: -reads the question- under my mask is a face that saw happy endings and happy lives! .

Deidara: -disgusted- oh god here we go again, hm!

Tobi: -ish happy- and the reason why I picked orange for my mask is that... –goes evil tobi- ...is because the color of fire is orange and _not _red.

Everyone: O,o

Pein: O,o er.. ok... we better answer the third question –reads question- well, I want to change the fact that my soul never sleeps. T.T I don't really like it now...

Konan: -puzzled- why don't you like it, pein?

Pein: its because if one body sleeps another body wakes up! And when it falls asleep the body that just fell asleep wakes up! In short... –sniffle- ... im sleep-deprived! T.T

Konan: -sweatdrop- okkk... I want to change the fact in my life that I can get killed by a paper shredder T.T

Zetsu: -is asleep-

Sasori: I cant answer yet... –sweatdrops at the fact oro is still snuggling at his arm- ugh...

Deidara: -fuming- I cant answer too, hm... –glares at orochimaru- -mutters- I'll surely kill him, hm...

Evil tobi: -in a very evil voice- I'll change my evil level to the most ultimate evil of level there ever is! –evil laugh-

Kisame: I cant really change anything about myself... -looks at his blue complexion and gills-

Itachi: -quietly- I wont change anything that much but I'll change my foolish little brother's hair style because it looks like the butt of a dead duck...

Kakuzu: I wont change anything at all! Money is what I want foreva! –sees a penny on the ground- oooh! money! –pounces on the penny-

Everyone: -sweatdrop-

Hidan: same as kakuzu. I wont change at all! Jashin is all-powerful!!

jjle: -sweatdrop- please calm down, hidan.

dongz: I'll read the next question already... –reads the next question-

**from: Amaterasu77**

**Hey!**

**Dares:  
Deidara: I LUV U GO OUT WITH ME!  
Anyone who calls Deidara-Kun a girl: (Eerie voice) You will die a painful death in your sleep.  
Itachi: Be my slave or die!  
Boys(Except Deidara-Kun): Jump into a lake,get torchred by Satan,go into the sun without dying hen come back into my torchring therepy!  
Questions:  
Boys who I torchred: Do you think Im your wost nighmare?Muahahaha!  
Hidan: Jashin is gay! Ypou cant kill me!hahaha u dnt no where i am hahaha  
Everyone Cep Deidei: Y DO U THINK DEIDARA-KUN IS A GIRL!? Answer incorrectly and you die the next time i review muahaha  
BYE LUVS YA DEIDEI!(Eerie voice) For now!**

Deidara: I don't want to, hm! I love my danna, hm! –hugs sasori's other arm tightly-

Sasori: -ish angry- -shakes off his partner and former partner away in anger- FOR GOD'S SAKE! BOTH OF YOU! –points his finger at oro and dei in anger-

Oro, dei: O.o ye...ye...yes??

Sasori: -still angry- DON'T TOUCH ME FOR THE NEXT 3 HOURS OR BOTH OF YOU WILL BE PART OF MY PUPPET COLLECTION!!

Oro, dei: O.o o..o...ok...

dongz: wow! That's the first time I saw oro act like a scared puppy.

jjle: -nods- yeah... so, um... sempai?

dongz: -turns to jjle- what?

jjle: -nervous- well, since we called deidara a girl, though we know he's actually a guy... do you think Amaterasu-chan will, –gulp- kill us??

dongz: O.o NOOOO!! I DON'T WANT TO DIE YOUNG!! CMON! IM ONLY 12!!

Pein: -le gasp- your only 12?! I cant believe it! w/ that height (im 5 feet 4 inches so I kinda stand out) I thought youre 16 or something!

dongz: that always happens, pein-sama. I got used to it. speaking of which... –turns to itachi- are you gonna be her slave or not??

Itachi: O.o I do _not_ want to become her slave! I don't care if I die because at least I still have my dignity...

jjle: suit yourself.

Itachi: -suddenly got hit by a falling stage light- -dies-

Akatsuki: O.o heh??

jjle: -smirks- see what I mean... now, DO THE LAST DARE!!

All boys except deidara and itachi: yes sir!! –hurriedly goes outside-

Deidara: -looks back at the leaving members and ex-member- I wonder why Amaterasu-chan didn't dared me to go too, hm...

dongz: -shakes head- what cant understand in the sentence, '_I LUV U GO OUT WITH ME!' _??

jjle: -rubs chin thoughtfully- I wonder if they could stand her therapy...

dongz: we'll see...

_48 hours later..._

all the tortured boys: -returns to the stage-

konan: -smells something- why does it smells like burnt flesh, burnt vegetable, burnt fish and burnt wood in here??

Pein: -irritated at konan- isn't it obvious??

dongz: take a seat already, dammit! You still have questions to answer so please answer quickly so that I could finish reading Scholarship by Raintrees...

jjle: -reads the questions to refresh their memories-

pein: -oh so tired- YOURE HELL!! –faints-

hidan: -covers his burnt ears- LALALALALA!! IM NOT FUCKING LISTENING!!

jjle: -begging- sorry, amaterasu-chan! We didn't mean to! DON'T KILL ME AND SEMPAI, PLEASE!! WE'RE JUST 12!!

dongz: -sweatdrop- danna, I think you lost your dignity at that point...

jjle: -puzzled- I did?

dongz: yes, you did... now for the next question!! –reads next question-

**from: Rockcrab**

**Peace Akatsuki! And everyone else too I guess...**

**Itachi-sama- What's up lately?**

**Hidan- Hi... how are you?**

**Sasori- Hi... -cough-**

**Sasuke (if allowed)- Itachi's better than you so ha. Sorry, just had to say that, but you're ok too.**

**Sincerely,  
Rockcrab**

dongz: peace too, dude!

jjle: -tries to bring itachi back to life- -holding a frying pan- LIVE, DAMN YOU!! –hits itachi's corpse repeatedly with the frying pan-

itachi: -goes back to life- God! And im having the most wonderful time in my life in heaven!

Kisame: -overjoyed- HE'S ALIVE!! –glomps itachi-

Itachi: -vein pops out- kisame, if u don't get off me in the next 3 seconds I'll make sure youll be in your graveyard at the hidden mist village...

Kisame: -gets off from itachi even before he started counting the seconds- 0.o

jjle: -getting impatient- answer the question, dammit!!

Itachi: fine, fine...

dongz: -getting impatient too- JUST ANSWER ALREADY!!

Deidara: -sweatdrop- sheez.. we got _2_ additional impatient people in here, hm...

Itachi: fine, I'll answer! As usual, in the base we're tired, we do our chores except leader-sama and his girlfriend, we eat, we sleep... just things normal people do in their homes...

dongz: -mutters- and you call yourselves _normal_...

itachi: -anxious- what did you just said?

dongz: oh nothing!

jjle: -impatient- PEOPLE AND FREAKS!! ANSWER ALREADY!!

Hidan: jeez... fine! –reads question- im fine is all I can say...

Sasori: hello then...

dongz: -drags sasuke into the stage-

sasuke: O.o what the... and I was about to answer a question on Ask the Naruto characters! -whines-

dongz: -ish irritated- shut up, emo boy! Just read this then your out of here! –thrusts the letter under sasuke's nose-

sasuke: -reads the letter silently then gets emo after finishing- why does everyone says that itachi is still better than me even though I defeated him... T.T

dongz: -kicks the emo boy away- now, since that's the end for this chappie, send reviews and questions and all sorts of stuff please.

jjle: and since we favorited Raintrees' fanfic 'Scholarship', feel free to read it in our favorite stories list!

dongz: did you read the ending already??

jjle: no. what happened?

dongz: sasori already took the flight to suna city. Dei got emo but then itachi stole his heart and the itadei relationship happened!

jjle: -shocked- NOOOO!! IT CANT BE!!

Itadei fans in the audience: YAY!!

Sasodei fans in the audience: BOO!!

Itadei and sasodei fans: -started killing each other-

dongz: -sweatdrop- great, we have to pay for the repairs...

jjle: -twitches on the floor- no... it cant happen! NOO!! -suddenly stands up- -threatens itachi with a knife- I'LL KILL YOU FOR THAT!!

Akatsuki: -sweatdrop-

_**BROUGHT TO YOU BY THE SEMPAI-DANNA SYSTEM. REMEMBER, SEMPAIS HAS MORE AUTHORITY THAN DANNAS!**_

Orochimaru: -stalking saso-

Sasori: -irritated-

Oro: saso-kun! Love me please!! –puppy eyes- -got shot-

dongz: -holding a shotgun- I don't like orosaso pairings...


	6. OMG! 6 now!

dongz: we're back!! Yay!

jjle: dongz-sempai doesn't own naruto. They are from kishimoto-sama. So sempai...

dongz: -to jjle- what?

jjle: after this chappie, can I kill itachi and deidara?

dongz: -grins wickedly- sure...

jjle: -threatens itachi and deidara with a chainsaw- - in a very evil tone- both of you will die because of what you did in Scholarship...

everyone except dongz: -sweatdrop-

dongz: -holds her shotgun- yeah, saso was brokenhearted when he left to suna city...

jjle: -went berserk- DIEEEE!!

_1 hour later..._

jjle: -tied to a chair- YOULL NEVER GET AWAY FROM THIS, ITACHI AND DEIDARA!!

dongz: -in her thoughts- _I better read a question already..._ –reads a letter-

**from: ****Zozo.x**

**heya i have another question**

**well**

**Kisame: are you really half fish/shark or whatever you are  
Itachi: if Sasuke and Naruto got together, would you rebuild the Uchiha clan and if yes, who with?  
oh and for all the group**

**who is the most housewifey person **

pein: -is proud- the most housewifey member is my konan-chan! n.n

konan: -blushes-

kisame: -shy- im half fish, half shark. My father is a human while my mother is a shark...

everyone: O,o OMG...

jjle: -faints-

dongz: O,o itachi, better answer the question for you...

itachi: O,o o..o..ok... of course I'll rebuild the uchiha clan! I just killed them because my father kept bossing me around.

jjle: -mysteriously revives and got untied- but the question also asks that if youll rebuild the clan then who'll be there to help you.

Itachi: -blushes a little- I thought of that sometimes...

Crazed itachi fangirls: PICK US ITACHI!!

Everyone: -sweatdrop-

jjle: erm... I'll read the next letter... –reads next letter-

**from: 9shadowcat9**

**Hi again! Hey Hidan why do you worship Jashin? And I wan't a streight answer this time... -.-; Dediara is Tobi as hyper as the fanfics make out he is? And why are you so addicted to your art? Zetsu why do you resemble a fly trap? Oh... and oro? Drop dead, get tortured and eaten by my rabid squirrels and hamsters.**

Orochimaru: -freaks out as rabid squirrels and hamsters starts going at him- EEEEEKKKK!! SAVE ME, SASO-KUN!! –jumps on sasori's arms-

Deidara: -face darkens- dannaaaaa...

Sasori: -still holding oro- you got it all wrong, dei-chan!

Deidara: -fuming- I got it all wrong, hm?! Look at you, saving that ugly snake from those rabid mammals, hm!

Everyone: -sweatdrop-

dongz: -glances at jjle- danna...

jjle: -sighs- right behind you, sempai...

dongz, jjle: -kicks sasori, orochimaru and deidara out of the studio-

jjle: now that should keep the stability in here... now please answer the questions.

Hidan: -reads the letter- I fucking worship jashin because jashin gave me my fucking immortality.

Itachi: and also you worship jashin because you love him/her.

Hidan: -ish angry- SHUT UP, FUCKING BLIND BITCH WEASEL!

dongz: -stares at the letter- um... pein-sama, I think you should answer the question for deidara, since he's outside the studio and having another relationship tantrum...

pein: -sweatdrop- ok then. Tobi is _always_ hyper. He's exactly as hyper as the fanfics written about him. He gets more hyper if you made him eat a _lot_ of sugary food. He'll get sugar-hyper! –shudders-

konan: tobi would bounce around the room like a rubber ball.

jjle: -starts having dark thoughts- interesting...

tobi: -spots a cookie jar- COOKIES!! –starts eating the cookies in the cookie jar-

_3 minutes later..._

tobi: -bouncing around the stage, saying random things-

pein: OMG! He's sugar-hyper again!

Zetsu: -alert- quick! Open the door!

dongz: -opens the door leading outside the studio-

tobi: -bounces outside the studio- Tobiisagoodboy! Tobiisagoodboy!

jjle: -awestruck- now _that's _what I call sugar-hyper!

dongz: well, since dei is outside I don't think he'll tell us why he's obsessed with his art.

jjle: because of that zetsu will answer his question!

Zetsu: -sighs- fine. –reads the letter- I resemble a fly trap because I was _born_ like this.

Everyone: OMG...

dongz: that, is the most freakiest birth I ever heard of...

jjle: i... i'll read the next letter already... –reads the next letter-

**from: Amaterasu77**

**Hello again! Hey! I wont kill you just make sure you don't Call Dei-kun a girl k?  
Deidara: NU -breathes after long Nu- Don't make me stalk you. I know where you live and where the Akatsuki is! Muahahaha!  
Dares:  
Sasori: If I get OrochiGAYo off you will you make Dei-Kun fall in love with me? -Puppy eyes- If you don't I dare you too.  
Pein: Make me part of the Akatsuki. BTW Im half wolf and have got te Goddess Okami Amaterasu in me.  
OrochiGAYo:Jump into a lake,get torchred by Satan,jump off Tokyo Tower,go into the sun without dying then meet the GAY tree hugger Masaya from Tokyo Mew Mew and finnally into the torchreous therepy of mine we go!  
Konan: Who is your crush in the Akatsuki and go out with them!  
Kisame: I have your Mommy. -Shows female shark that looks like Kisame- Now watch what Im gonna do. -Cuts up Kisame's mom into shark sushi and gives it to pet wolves.-MUAHAHAHA!  
Itachi: -Revives- Now be my slave or I'll put you into the most unimaginable torcher then my therepy which I will make you belive you love SasuGAY then Mangeyo(sp?) Sharanigiran(sp?) for a week and then kill you!  
Zetsu: -Sprays Weed killer on him- Ah weed! hahaha  
Hidan: (eerie booming loud voice) WHAT DID YOU SAY!? ABOUT NOT LISTENING!? YOU WILL LISTEN TO ME!! Now be my slave with Itachi or I'll put you into the most unimaginable torcher then my therepy which I will make you belive you love OochiGAYo then Mangeyo(sp?) Sharanigiran(sp?) for a week and then kill you!  
Itachi: You had no dignity. You were killed by a stage light for sake!  
Bye bye heres some cookies!-Givs to Dongz Jjle and Dei-Kun and Sasori-Kun- (To everyone else in a creepy eerie voice) No cookies for you but I'll be back to kill you all!**

dongz: whew! And a second back there I thought Amaterasu-chan will kill us! That would be so wrong.

jjle: -hyper- COOKIES! I LUV COOKIES! –eats his cookies- aww! I don't have cookies anymore! –sees dongz' cookies- -steals dongz' cookies- MORE COOKIES FOR ME!! Jeynald is a good boy! –eats the stolen cookies-

dongz: -lets jjle get her cookies- hey I didn't notice sasori-san and deidara-san got in!

sasori: but the worse part of it, these two are treating my arms like the rope in tug-of-war!

Orochimaru: -pulls sasori closer to him- HES MINE!

Deidara: -pulls sasori closer to him- NO HES MINE, HM!

Everyone: -sweatdrop-

jjle: -sweatdrops- ok, since dei and oro wont mind us I guess there's only one way to do this...

dongz: -smirks- way ahead of you, danna... –snaps her fingers-

oro: -gets hit by a falling stage light-

akatsuki: O,o heh??

dongz: much better n.n

jjle: now please pay attention or all of you will get hit by falling stage lights and pianos.

Pein: oh my goodness... –reads the letter- -starts freaking out- AAHHHHH!! SOMEONE KNOWS THE LOCATION OF OUR BASE!!

Rest of the akatsuki: -starts freaking out-

Tobi: -gets inside the studio after calming down- -sees his fellow members running around in circles like spongebob and Patrick- yay! A game! –starts acting like his fellow members-

jjle: -sweatdrop- this might be a good time for a commercial.

_COMMERCIAL BREAK..._

jjle: hello readers! This is to inform you that we also want you to send greetings or anything to the akatsuki so that sempai will keep updating. But better be quick, because sempai's school year will start on the first week of June. So please send as much as you can!

_BACK TO PROGRAM..._

dongz: -looks around- well, since everything is in order I'll read the letter again. –reads the letter-

sasori: sorry to disappoint you but oro is already off me since he got hit by a stage light.

Pein: well, if you want us to make you an official member you better come to our base next year. The annual auditions for this year are already done and as usual, they sucked. Next year's audition will start on February 1 and ends on February 28 so bring your resume' next year and we'll see what you got.

dongz: ok people. You heard what he said! Bring your resume' next year!

jjle: heh, this would me like American Idol! Only this time it's 'Akatsuki Idol'!

dongz: now please do her dares and answer her questions.

Orochimaru: -still unconscious-

Konan: my crush (and boyfriend) is pein! –goes out with pein-

Kisame: NOOO!! YOU MURDERD MY MOMMY!! TT.TT –stays in his emo corner-

Itachi: NEVER!! –suddenly falls in love to sasuke- sasuke! I love you!! –runs towards the studio of Ask the Naruto characters-

Sasuke: ??

Zetsu: AAAHHH!! IM DYING!! IT BURNS!! –runs out of the studio-

Hidan: I WONT BE YOUR FUCKING SLAVE!! DAMN YOU BITCH! –suddenly falls in love to orochimaru- -carries orochimaru then runs out of the studio-

jjle: -looks back at hidan- I wonder what he'll do to him...

dongz: -shrugs- I don't even want to know. And I don't think itachi will see the final message.

_IN THE 'ASK THE NARUTO CHARACTERS' STUDIO..._

Itachi: -rubbing his head against sasuke's arm-

Sasuke: -sweatdrop- um...itachi? let go of my arm.

Naruto, Karin, ino: -terribly jealous to itachi-

_BACK TO THE PROGRAM..._

jjle: O,o now that's scary!

dongz: O,o I can agree with you. Now for the next letter! –reads next letter-

**from: Kayamie1224**

**ok a few things, one itachi is way better than you sasuke, the only reason that any of the akatsuki were beat was because the actual writer of the series fell asleep, and some annoying idiot came in and wrote there deaths, not knowing what he was typing so HA SASUKE YOU ARE GAY AND ITACHI IS WAY BETTER THAN YOU!  
second, in total randomness Jashin rocks...**

dongz: I know! JASHIN ROCKS!

jjle: -drags sasuke in along with itachi who's still snuggling at hios arm- -thrusts the letter under sasuke's nose- read!

Sasuke: -goes emo after reading it- why are people so mean... T.T

dongz: -sweatdrop- just take a seat, sasuke. We need itachi around here.

Sasuke: -takes a seat beside sasori and deidara who are making out- -sweatdrops at the scene beside him-

dongz: OMG! SO HOT! XD

jjle: hot alright! Now, for the next letter... –reads next letter-

**from: Rockcrab**

**Itachi-sama- Sorry to disturb you Itachi-sama! Rest in peace... Looks away**

**Hidan- Good. You're fine... steps away a step**

**Sasori- Yeah... Takes step back**

**(jjile and dongz- Hidan and Sasori don't remember me. Good thing too. Every time else I meet them they both want to kill me, or at least Hidan does, Sasori wants me to be a puppet.)**

**Sasuke-baka- Sorry, but The way it happened with Itachi... it just seemed so lame, and it also seemed that he actually accidentaly helped you kill me in a way... don't ask what I think, you wouldn't understand anyways... not many do.**

**Sincerely-Rockcrab**

dongz: -bows her head in respect- rest in peace...

itachi: -got hit by a falling piano- -dies again-

hidan, sasori: ??

jjle: -reassuring- don't worry, Rockcrab-san. We wont refresh their memories.

Sasori: -puzzled- what are you talking about?

dongz: nothing...

sasuke: what is Rockcrab talking about??

dongz: time for the next letter! –reads the next letter-

**from: scorpion-master25**

**DANNAS SO HAVE MORE ATHORITY!**

jjle: well that's something to tell to our sponsor.

dongz: since this is the end of the chappie, please send questions and reviews.

jjle: ...and greetings and fan letters for the akatsuki.

_**BROUGHT TO YOU BY THE SEMPAI-DANNA SYSTEM. REMEMBER ,SEMPAIS HAS MORE AUTHORITY THAN DANNAS!**_

jjle: this sponsor is somehow killing me.

dongz: -sweatdrop- don't worry danna. The next sponsor wont kill you. Now let me video saso and dei's making out session.

_**BROUGHT TO YOU BY COOKIE PALACE. COOKIES ARE HEAVEN!**_

jjle: yay! Cookies!


	7. 5 in the bag

dongz: yay! We're back again!

jjle: sempai, it was only a day since the last chappie...

dongz: it is? Ohhhh...

everyone: -sweatdrop-

dongz: so...um...anyway, I don't own naruto and i will never never own it T.T

jjle: so since disclaimer is out I'll be reading the letters already. –reads first letter-

**from: 9shadowcat9**

**Out of curiosity why are yoai questions banned when you have boys kissing? And Tobi... YOU RULE! Sasugay... You are an idiot and Itachi is a hella lot better then you. GET A LIFE! Actually... Let Itachi kill you. Akatsuki I KNOW WHERE YOUR BASE IS! Let me join and I wont 'accidently' blab to the kage's. And Kakuzu why are you so addicted to money? And no. Money doesn't make any world go around. --. YOU GUYS RULE! Deidara's the cutest though! ;)**

dongz: well, I consider hot making out (XD) shonen-ai so it can be allowed n.n yaoi, to me, are those uber perverted stuff like how many times do they do 'it' in a week or so. Sooo... MAKING OUT IS ALLOWED!! Hehehehe

jjle: so are you saying there's a BIG difference between yaoi and shonen-ai?

dongz: yep. I checked Wikipedia for the differences.

jjle: -rubs chin- really, wikipedia really comes in handy in all topics, including the akatsuki

pein: -le gasp- so what are you saying? Everyone knows about us??

dongz: yep n.n

pein: -starts running around in circles and shrieking like a little girl-

dongz: danna... -.-"

jjle: -holds up a fring pan- I know, sempai... –aims the frying pan at pein's head- this will be like playing darts... –throws the frying pan at pein-

pein: -got hit in the head by jjle's frying pan- -drops down unconscious-

jjle: BULL'S EYE!

dongz: -lifts up a board saying '10'-

hidan: -also lifts up a board saying '10'-

kakuzu: -lifts up a board saying '5'-

jjle: grrr... –throws several appliances at kakuzu-

kakuzu: -gets hit by flying TV's, frying pans and radios- -is dizzy- I see pwetty appliances... –drops down unconscious-

jjle: that's better n.n

tobi: YAY! I KNEW TOBI RULES! TOBI IS A GOOD BOY! TOBI IS A GOOD BOY! –jumps up and down like a kid-

sasuke: why do people hate me and likes irachi more than me T.T –goes to emo corner-

jjle: oi, a question is for kakuzu. KAKUZU!! –tries to revive kakuzu-

kakuzu: -revives- -shakes his head- why do I feel like I got hit by an appliance showcase...

dongz: question for you, greedy man!

Kakuzu: IM NOT GREEDY! ANG IVE ME THAT LETTER! –grabs the letter then reads it- well, I'll now tell you people why I love money. –clears throat- in this country, you need to get the money first. When you get the money, you'll get the power. –an image of the 9 bijuus appeared behind them-

dongz: since when did we got a 72-inch flat screen tv in here? –sweatdrop-

kakuzu: and when you got the power, _then_ youll get the women.

Everyone: -sweatdrop-

jjle: -sweatdrop- nice lecture...

dongz: now for the next fan letter! –reads the next letter-

**from: Rockcrab**

**Gr. You kill Itachi-sama with piano. His... ok, why'd I do that?**

**jjile and dongz- Thank you. If people I know found I said thank you they would freak out...**

**Tobi- Did you ever lose your Akatsuki ring?**

**Sincerely,  
Rockcrab**

dongz: oh sorry for that. He just wont mind us since he's sooo in love with sasuke. But we performed CPR to him so he's back. n.n

itachi: that's right.

jjle: really? They'll freak out?? Bummer... and I wouldn't freak out if that happened...

tobi: oh, tobi didn't lost his ring! Tobi never owned a ring because the ring that im suppose to own is still with orochimaru! Tobi is a good boy so tobi won't steal it from him since tobi is a good boy! n.n

akatsuki: -sweatdrop-

dongz, jjle: -in fan mode- AINT HE SO ADORABLE!!

Akatsuki: -extra sweatdrop-

jjle: so on for the next question! –reads next question-

**from: ****Amaterasu77**

**HAHAHAHAHAHA! I killed Kisames mommy! Yosh I'm evil.  
Dares:  
Itachi: You now hate SasuGAY again. And are my slave!  
Deidara: YOU ARE MINE! SASORI DOESNT LIKE YOU LIKE THAT! THATS IT IM COMING OVER THERE AND STALKING YOU! IF YOU HIDE I CAN FIND YOU CAUSE OF MA HALF WOLFYNESS!  
OrochiGAYo: -Revives- Jump into a lake,get torchred by Satan,jump off Tokyo Tower,go into the sun without dying then meet the GAY tree hugger Masaya from Tokyo Mew Mew and finnally into the torchreous therepy of mine we go! Or I'll kill your SasuGAY-Kun. MUAHAHAHA!  
Pein: NOT NEXT YEAR! I dare you to make me a memeber of tyhe Akatsuki NOW! Or I'll come over there and force you to!  
Kisame: That shark wasnt your mommy. It was your precious little sister! MUAHAHAHA! Heres your mommy! -Shows female shark that looks like Kisame- Now watch what Im gonna do. -Cuts up Kisame's mom into shark sushi and gives it to pet wolves.-MUAHAHAHA!  
Dares:  
Sasori: I will ge OrochiGAYo off you. -Gets him of Sasori-Kun- Now MAKE DEIDARA-KUN FALL IN LOVE WITH ME! If not I'll stalk you aswell. I know where you live. Elmo knows where you live.  
Deidara: Elmo knows where you live  
Itachi: You had no dignity. You were killed by a stage light for sake!  
Hidan: You didnt answer my question. (eerie booming loud voice) WHAT DID YOU SAY!? ABOUT NOT LISTENING!? YOU WILL LISTEN TO ME!! Now be my slave with Itachi or I'll put you into the most unimaginable torcher then my therepy which I will make you belive you love OochiGAYo then Mangekyou(sp?) Sharanigiran(sp?) for a week and then kill you!  
Pein: Of course I know where the Akatsuki base is. I live across the street to you. I that girl with the black and red wolf ears and tail. Remember now?  
Everyone that freaked out: -Hits with fryin pan that is mouldy- CALM DOWN OR I'LL COME OVER THERE!  
jjle: Here have a lifetime supply of cookies that never run out. -Gives cookies-  
Dongz: same as jjle -Gives Cookies-  
Zetsu: Sorry I was hyper. Here have some weed repelent.  
Deidara: If OrochiGAYo took Sasori-Kun away and killed him and himself and you couldnt kill yourself would you love me?  
Boys(Except Deidara-Kun and Sasori-Kun): Jump into a lake,get torchred by Satan,go into the sun without dying hen come back into my torchring therepy!  
Hmm can't think of anything review l8r! BYE SASORI-KUN DEI-KUN AND DONGZ AND JJLE!**

dongz: wow! That's really long alright. And thanks for the cookies! At least I don't have to buy for danna anymore.

jjle: -hyperactive- COOKIES!! –starts eating the cookies like a vacuum cleaner-

dongz: O,o danna! Don't eat too much cookies! Youll get diabetes at that rate! –drags jjle away from his cookies-

jjle: -struggling like a wild animal- NEVER! I'LL EAT COOKIES FOREVER!!

Everyone except pein (still unconscious) and kisame: -sweatdrop-

Kisame: back then my sister and now my mommy! Im so sad! BWAAAAHHH!! –cries like a baby then goes to emo corner with sasuke-

dongz: he's like this every time he sees tons of cookies –sweatdrop- now time for a commercial sine my danna is foaming like a rabid dog.

jjle: -still struggling like a wild animal and foaming- RAWR!!

Akatsuki: -shrieks like little girls (yes, pein got conscious again) and ran out of the studio-

dongz: -sweatdrop- oh great. I lost my guests.

_COMMERCIAL BREAK..._

dongz: oi, people out there who likes the itadeisaso threesome! I found a vid in youtube just for your delight! Just search '**itadeisaso wake up call**' and youll see it immediately! Just make sure the maker of the vid is **kyuuka666**. well, that's all I can say. And oh, the maker of the vid also has an account here XD.

Deidara: why do you have to keep advertising _everything_ about us 3 ,hm?? .

dongz: fust for fun! n.n and I do know your secret...

deidara: -grows nervous- what secret, hm? Wh...what are you talking about, hm?? –sweats in nervousness-

dongz: -grins- don't deny it, dei. I know that you made out with itachi many times while sasori-san is in his one month mission. –grins wider-

deidara: -very nervous- h... ho... how did you know, hm?

dongz: -darkly- I just know it. –pulls out her cell phone then dials someone's number- -on the phone- hello, is this mr akasuna no idiota?

Deidara: -le gasp-

Sasori: -on the other line- its akasuna no sasori, for your information. And who are you?

dongz: its susan33 from Sasodei fanclub. I got some photos here that are taken when youre on your 1 month mission.

Sasori: -starts to grow impatient- so?

dongz: well, it concerns about mr deidara and mr uchiha itachi. The pics shows the 'making out' of mr deidara and mr itachi. So if you care, mr akasuna no idiota, please claim it from dongz-sempai since we gave it to her. Its urgent for you to know.

Sasori: -on the other line- -faints-

dongz: -ends call- -to the grieving deidara- and now youre not going anywhere. –sadistic laugh-

_BACK TO PROGRAM..._

jjle: -normal again- and we're back.

deidara: WAAAAHHH!! DANNA DOESN'T LOVE ME ANYMORE, HM!!

jjle: -amazed- wow sempai! You won the bet! –hands 5 bucks to dongz-

dongz: -evil- yep, and we caused another problem in dei's life and im happy about it n.n

jjle: -smirks- youre evil sempai!

dongz: evil and proud! n.n now please do the dares and questions for all of you!

Itachi: -starts worshipping Amaterasu-chan- I don't care if I lost my dignity as long as I don't get hit by another falling stage light, or piano, and worst, getting butchered by an angry sasori.

Deidara: TAKE ME ALREADY, HM! Im not loved here, hm... TT.TT and I don't care if elmo knows where I am, hm...

Orochimaru: -ran out of the studio- -returns after 48 hours-

jjle: -amazed- wow! Oro _did_ do the dare! –smells something- and he smells like burnt snake! Phew!

dongz: -also amazed- wow! Amaterasu-chan made the akatsuki look like her pet dogs!

Sasori: I don't think I'll be able to make deidara fall in love to you, amaterasu-san, because –grabs a megaphone- _HE'S IN LOVE WITH A CERTAIN SOMEONE IN HERE WHO HAS THE SHARINGAN! _–drops the megaphone- now I have a reason not to do your dare. And I think its considerable.

Hidan: -uber confused- what question? What the fuck are you talking about? –starts freaking out- AAAAAHHHH!! WHATS YOUR QUESTION?? –collapsed-

Pein: -remembers- oh! Now I remember you! Youre the neighbor that tobi is talking about! You know, the one tobi always played with! Ok, tomorrow I'll see your resume'. But please, stop hitting me with that mouldy pan. It hurts!

Zetsu: -sees weed repellent- O,o AAAHHH!! YOURE TRYING TO KILL US!! –runs then got knocked unconscious for running towards a wall-

dongz, jjle: -sweatdrop-

deidara: -sees the last question for him- -sniffle- maybe. –sniffle- just please don't hate me, hm. –sob-

jjle: -sweatdrop- what a baby...

dongz: now do the last dare people!

Orochimaru: again?

dongz: -vein pops out- you wanna die?

Orochimaru: O,o no

dongz: now do it, for the sake of our readers!

All boys except deidara (yes, even sasuke has to join. Hehehe): -runs out of the studio-

Konan: -looks up from her origami- wow. And its a good thing im a girl.

dongz: youre right, konan-san.

_48 hours later..._

all boys except deidara: -returns-

jjle: wow! And im lucky im a host. n.n

dongz: since that's the end for the long torture of the akatsuki men lets get to the next fan letter! –reads next letter-

**from: Katherineyuki cute**

**hi very one!**

**Kisame: Your poor Mommy! Heres a cookie. - gives cookie -**

**Itachi: Stay in love with your brother!**

**Hidan: jashin hates you.**

**Sasori: give me all your puppts or you will fall in love with Orochimaru!**

**Kakuzu: say hello to my sharks - sharks attack Kakuzu -**

**Tobi: You get a cookie too!**

**Bye!**

Kisame: -accepts cookie- thanks. –continues grieving for his dead little sister and mommy-

Itachi: I hate sa- -suddenly stops his sentence- I LUV SASUKE!! –goes to sasuke-

Sasuke: get off me, gay bitch! –tries to lose itachi's grip-

Itachi: -holds sasuke's arm- never! –keeps rubbing his face to sasuke's arm-

jjle: -disgusted- ugh...

hidan: -holding orochimaru tightly- I don't fucking care if jashin hates me now! I have someone new in my fucking life!

Orochimaru: -blushing- OMG! I have a new hottie!

Kakuzu: -chased by sharks- AAAHHHH!! THEY'RE TRYING TO TEAR ME TO SHREDS!! I DON'T WANNA DIE!!

Sasori: -smirks- I don't think its possible because I lost all of my emotions ever since –grabs his megaphone again- _A CERTAIN SOMEONE CHEATED ON ME!_

Deidara: -depressed- WAAAAHHHH!! IM SORRY DANNA, HM!! –cries harder-

Tobi: -worried- deidara-sempai, why are you crying? Here, have my cookie! –gives to deidara the cookie he just received-

Deidara: -accepts cookie- thanks, hm. –uses the cookie as a tissue-

jjle, dongz: -uber disgusted- EEEWWWW!! GROSS!! BLEARGH!!

Tobi: your welcome! Oh, jjle- sempai, can I read the next question? –puppy eyes-

jjle: -still disgusted- su...sure...

tobi: -overjoyed- yay! Tobi is a good boy! -reads next letter-

**from: Kayamie1224**

**I have been destined to go out with Hidan, and Jashin-sama told me to so now your doomed as well, oh well**

**plus I have your base location and information on all of you, so you can't even hide, pity :3**

Hidan: -dreamily- I don't fucking care...

Orochimaru: hey! He's mine! –grabs hidan-

Pein: -uber stressed out- great. Wikipedia is telling everyone about us. We're screwed! T.T

jjle: well, since this is the end for this chappie. All I can say is bye!

dongz: please send more reviews, questions, dares, etc.

jjle: BYE EVERYONE!

_**BROUGHT TO YOU BY THE SEMPAI-DANNA SYSTEM. REMEMBER, SEMPAIS ARE AS EQUAL AS DANNAS!**_

jjle: wow! They changed the system!

dongz: I made them change their system. n.n

_**BROUGHT TO YOU BY COOKIE PALACE. COOKIES ARE HEAVEN!**_

jjle: hey sempai. Can I eat cookies now?

dongz: yep.

jjle: yay! –starts eating the unlimited supply of cookies he got-

dongz: -sighs- here we go again.


	8. DAMN! its too much!

dongz: hiya! I have an important announcement before we start.

jjle: sempai wont be able to fit all fan letters in this chappie. And as for SushiFork-san's request, sempai is still finding a way to make a hippie version out of all of the akatsuki members so please be patient.

dongz: for now, I'll be putting down, at the very least, 5 fan letters. The others will be on the next chappie, and I think the request might be granted on the next chappie too, if im able to create the hippie version as fast as I could. Whew! –rubs forehead- I need a break from updating day by day, typing every chappie for 3 hours or so. –collapses to a chair-

_BACK TO THE USUAL PROGRAMMING..._

dongz: hiya! We're back!

jjle: and the best part is, -plays 'wake up call by maroon 5 really loud- this song is dedicated to saso-kun!

dongz: yay! I love that song! –notices sasori's darkened look- oi, don't you like it?? Oiii, are you listening?!

Sasori: -darkly- are you trying to rub it in??

dongz: -sweatdrop-

jjle: so anyway, sempai doesn't own naruto or any characters here. Now for the letters!! –reads first letter-

**from: Crazy Denial**

**Random question :) Deidara, why do you make your "art" with your clay-eating hands instead of using another part of your body?**

Deidara: -also in a bad mood- -in a low tone- can someone please stop that song , hm?! Its killing me, hm...

jjle: -sighs- fine. –turns off his radio- so... answer the question.

Deidara: -in a low tone- because its my kekkei genkai and that it's the only parts of my body that can create art, hm...

Sasori: -sternly- you call those explosions 'art'?!

Pein: -in his thoughts- _oh no. here we go again. I better act fast! _–in a hasty tone- um... how about you 2 argue later, since we have lots of things to do around here.

sasori: -shots a venomous glare at deidara-

everyone: -sweatdrop-

jjle: -eating cookies- heres the next letter! And its mine too! n.n –reads next letter-

**from: jjle-danna**

**I have a question.**

**1st: (For everyone) How old are you?**

**2nd: Has anyone ever gotten a papercut from Konan?**

Kisame: -still teary-eyed from the death of his mom and sister- im 31. –sniffle- (found his age in narutopedia)

Deidara: 19, hm.

dongz: O,o youre 19?? Yay! –runs around in joy- I WON THE BET!! I KNEW IT! DEI-SEMPAI IS 19 YEARS OLD! (found his age in narutopedia)

akatsuki: -sweatdrop-

jjle: -very sad- so does this mean he died _young_??

dongz: -is proud- yes, danna! And since I won this bet, you owe me 5 bucks!

jjle: -sighs in disappointment- fine. –hands 5 bucks-

dongz: -ish happy- yay!

Akatsuki: -sweatdrop-

Itachi: -sweatdrop- ok, this is getting weird lately. And I have to say, Im 20.

dongz: -le gasp-

jjle: -ish happy- ha! I won the bet this time! Now gimme back my 5 bucks! –grabs the money he just gave to dongz-

dongz: oh cmon! And I just won a bet! T.T

pein: so you 2 have been betting on the ages my underlings died??

jjle: -ish happy- yep.

Pein: -sighs in relief- luckily I didn't told anyone about the ages of kakuzu, my konan-chan, tobi-sama, and mine.

dongz: -rubs chin thoughtfully- so no wonder I cant find your ages in wikipedia and narutopedia...

jjle: yeah, because pein didn't told anyone about their ages, no one was able to write their ages in those sites.

_White-half Zetsu: we're 56._

dongz: damn. You're a grandpa!

**Black-half zetsu: don't call us grandpa... –vein pops out-**

jjle: who cares... now, since sasori-sempai is the only one who hasn't told his age, -points his index finger at dongz in a threatening way- ... WE'LL BE HAVING A LAST-MINUTE BET!

Akatsuki: -sweatdrop-

dongz: -calmly- I bet he's 35.

jjle: I bet he's 40. loser pays 10 bucks.

dongz: sounds fair to me...

dongz, jjle: -to sasori- NOW TELL US YOUR AGE!

Sasori: -bored- my age is...

jjle: -hyper- yes??

Sasori: -bored- is...

jjle: -hyper- yes??

Sasori: -bored- is...

jjle: yes?!

dongz: -hits jjle with a bag- danna, youre acting like Plankton again. now, spit it out, sasori-sempai because your making danna hyper.

Sasori: -bored- my age is none of your business. Period.

jjle: -his world broke down- WHAT?!

sasori: -bored- you heard me.

jjle: -goes to a corner- T.T

dongz: -sweatdrop- danna, youre acting like an undignified person again.

jjle: -goes back to his chair- im not undignified! Now, please answer my other question. –reads the letter to refresh their memories-

pein: all of us gotten a papercut from konan.

Konan: -irritated- its because you people and freaks are pissing me off.

jjle: -curious- why are they pissing you off, konan-sama?

Konan: -sighs- you don't wanna know...

jjle: -in his thoughts- _I think its best if I don't want to know at all... _–reads the next letter-

**from: 9shadowcat9**

**Oro go die in the most slow and painful ways known to man... YOU KILLED THE 5TH HOKAGE! And Pein? I posten your bases location to Kohana and Suna. Sasori, forgive Deidara. Tobi? Grow up, you're supposed to be a villan for Pete's sake. And Konan, next time the boys are tortured join them, it's not all that fair to be honest. And Akatsuki? #Gives them life time supply of chocolate, medical supplies and sets rabid squirells,hamsters and all things evil on Oro and Sasuke.# DIE SNAKY!**

Sasuke: O.o –runs out of the studio-

Tobi: thanks for the chocolates and medical supplies! n.n

Pein: great. We're doomed! T;.;T

Orochimaru: -puzzled- I didn't killed tsunade! The only kage that I've killed is the 4th kazekage. The 3rd hokage killed himself. And as for me dying in the most slow and painful ways known to man, I cant die because im _IMMORTAL_! –suddenly got crushed under a stage light- ow! Saso-kun, -puppy eyes- ... please help me. –then got bitten by the evil stuff set on him- AAAAHHHH!! HELP ME, SASO-KUN!!

Sasori: -ignores oro's cries of help- no, I don't want to forgive that blonde little cheater. Instead, I'll get out of the picture. Anyway, -glances at itachi and a teary-eyed deidara- they look better together...

dongz: -le gasp-

jjle: -shocked- sasori-san! How could you say that! Itachi is nothing but a blind weasel!

Itachi: -vein pops out-

dongz: -thoughtfully- but I _do _prefer itachi's bloodline limit than deidara's... and sasori does have a point. I mean look at them! –points at deidara and itachi- ... hot guys with long, perfect hair. They make a _PERFECT COMBINATION_...

jjle: -shocked- sempai! Are you telling me you prefer itadei now?!

dongz: -sweatdrop- that's not what I meant, danna. I meant is that sasori-san does have a point pairing up 'tachi-san and dei-sempai.

jjle: -getting angry- see! You _like_ itadei!

dongz: -sweatdrop- danna, I do _NOT _like itadei!

jjle: -getting angrier- don't deny it, sempai!

dongz: -sighs- -holds up jjle's unlimited supply of cookies- danna, be a good boy.

jjle: -all Anger disappeared at the sight of his cookies- JEYNALD IS A GOOD BOY! –grabs cookies then munches on them happily-

dongz: good. Now please respond to the other messages of shadowcat-san.

Tobi: I don't want to grow up because tobi is a good boy! and zetsu-san said that if I became a villain then im a good boy! tobi is a good boy! n.n

Everyone: -sweatdrop-

Konan: I don't want to. Besides, Amaterasu-chan said that 'all boys except deidara' are to be tortured. So that means since im a girl I don't have to come with them. Unless of course you persuaded amaterasu-chan to force me to join them.

dongz: finally! Now time for the next fan letter. –reads next letter-

**from: Zozo.x**

**yes hehe**

**well itachi do you feel down in the dumples as you never get naruto haha, lool cant catch one kid.  
SasUKE: i still love you, but only if you love little naruto-kun  
and erm pein why do you have so many piercings?**

**love everyone of you lots and lots**

**zoziee x**

jjle: -teasing- haha! The legendary Uchiha Itachi cant catch a stupid blonde idiot!

Itachi: -embarassed- he was well protected!

dongz: -smirks- that doesn't count.

Itachi: T/.\T –goes to emo corner along with kisame whos still grieving for his mom and little sis-

dongz: -chuckles at the ridiculed uchiha-

jjle: -remembers something- hey wait, sasuke left the studio.

dongz: -sighs- i'll get him... -goes to the Ask the Naruto characters studio- -returns with sasuke-

sasuke: why am i in here?! nobody loves me here! T.T

jjle: -reassuring- dont worry, sasuke! someone sent us a good letter for you! -gives sasuke the letter-

sasuke: -reads letter then finishes it- please dont pronounce my name like that! im no uke! and i only love naruto as my friend.

jjle: -grins- friend, eh? you mean _boyfriend_?

sasuke: hell no!

hidan: -whispers to pein- if i am to fucking notice,that sasuke's name can spell 'uke-ass'.

pein: -realizes- oh yeah. youre right, hidan!

hidan: -smiles- hehehe...

sasuke: -greatly irritated- what were you talking about?!

hidan: -still smiling- non of your fucking business. now fuck off so we can continue.

sasuke: -greatly angered- dont tell me to fuck off!

jjle: -getting impatient- security!

-2 persons popped out from nowhere-

jjle: please drive them away, zabuza-san.

zabuza: -brandishes his sword- DIEEEE!! -goes after sasuke-

sasuke: O,o EEEEPPPP!! -runs out of the studio-

zabuza, haku: -runs after sasuke-

dongz: i really love our security. n.n

akatsuki: -sweatdrop-

jjle: now please answer the question. -reads the letter again-

pein: its because piercings are COOL!

everyone: -sweatdrop-

dongz: -sweatdrop- but not too much, pein-sama. its kinda freaky...

pein: -confused- but piercings are the latest trend this era, right?

everyone: -extra sweatdrop-

jjle: -sweatdrop- now for the next fan letter... -reads next fan letter-

**from: YukiGakamo1**

**lol, i have a couple of questions  
1) r all u guys gay or something? I mean, what straight man wears nail polish? seriously. Do you have, like, cute little slumber parties where you do each others nails, share secrets and do each others hair? (which would explain why Deidara's hair is SO like Ino's)  
2) Do you guys take turns in cleaning the lair? who's job is who's? (just a random question, lol)  
3) Itachi, which if ur fav ItachixOtherAkatsukiMember pairing!?**

pein: -about to say something but got cut off by dongz-

dongz: wait, pein-sama! we have a special presentation for this letter.

jjle: -nods- yes. we have a special presentation for it. but first, let me call zabuza and haku. -goes out of the studio then returns with the 2- -to zabuza- its time...

zabuza: -nods then sings-

**YEAH!!**

**they are on fire!**

-fire animation appeared behind the male akatsuki members-

pein: -to his thoughts- _wow! cheesy background animations._

zabuza: -still singing-

**t****hey have desires**

**but one is that way...**

zabuza: -points to a tv that says 'gay'-

male akatsuki members: -sweatdrop-

**one akatsuki boy is gay!**

haku: -sings-

_but we dont want to be mean_

_since now he's a QUEEN!_

haku: -points at deidara who suddenly had a banner above saying 'queen'-

hidan: -teasingly- -to deidara- haha!

deidara: -vein pops out-

_dont ask please!_

_which akatsuki boy is gay..._

jjle: -sings-

_**tell me who!?**_

zabuza: -points to hidan-

**aint saying that its hidan**

hidan: O.o WTF?!

_**tell me who!?**_

haku: -points to kakuzu-

_aint saying that its kakuzu_

kakuzu: O,o WTH...

_**tell me who...**_

**i never wanna here you say**

**which akatsuki boy is gay..****.**

haku: -directs to itachi-

_now i could see him_

_he's in women's clothes_

-a bunch of dresses fell on itachi-

**black-half zetsu: -smirks- nice one, itachi.**

itachi: -glares-

_white-half zetsu: -nervously- hey! dont bring me up to this!_

_but he dont need an IUD_

**YEAH!!**

all male akatsuki members except deidara: -looks at deidara suspiciously-

deidara: :( WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT, HM?!

_he likes village people_

everyone: -looks at zetsu-

**black-half zetsu: -.-" WHAT?!**

_hes playing croquet_

everyone: -looks at kisame-

kisame: -nervous- -in his thoughts- _how did they knew?!_

_his dog is a PEKINGESE!_

tobi: my dog is a pekingese! n.n

everyone except tobi: -sweatdrop-

**he is on fire!**

**his back, perspires**

_wont say..._

**wont say...**

_wont say..._

_**who's gay?!**_

male akatsuki members: -points at each other-

**hes always saying**

**aint nothing but a butt-ache**

**aint nothing but a fruitcake**

**i never wanna hear you say**

_(i dont wanna hear you say)_

**which one of them is gay?**

all male akatsuki members: -still pointing at each other-

_**tell me who?!**_

**aint saying that that its zetsu**

**black-half zetsu: O,o WTF?!**

_**tell me who?!**_

**aint saying pein or sasori**

_**tell me who**_

_he's making up a souffle_

_**which akatsuki boy is gay?**_

**ok...**

**they're all GAY!**

hidan: D: what the fuck was that?!

dongz: -coolly- dont worry, people. its just a background for the letter. it didnt really mean that your fave male akatsuki members are all gay.

jjle: -coolly- sempai is telling the truth. its _just _a background for the letter.

konan: my pein aint gay!

dongz: -coolly- dont worry, konan-san. we didnt mean it literally that all of them is gay. its just for fun! n.n

konan: oh. thanks for clearing it up for me.

jjle: your welcome. n.n now answer the questions!!

pein: well, the reason why we have to wear nail polish is that itachi forced me. -shivers- HE'S SCARY WITH THAT SHARINGAN OF HIS! and no, we dont have cute, girly little slumber parties...

dongz: -remembers something- but i remember deidara and itachi having a slumber party in itachi's room... and thats when sasori was away for a month...

itachi: O.o how did you know??

dongz: im also your neighbor! n.n also, danna is also your next door neighbor! danna's house is the one to your left while mine is the one to your right. my bedroom window views itachi's room while danna's bedroom window views deidara's room.

deidara: O,o so jeynald-san sees _everything _i did in my room, hm?!

jjle: -sweatdrop- er... i respect other people's private lives on a certain length.

deidara: -relieved- oh, hm...

pein: really?! but why cant i see you everytime i go out of our base?

dongz: -thinking- probably because we only come out during night to do some preparations for the next day and also to net all night... and going back to the slumber party thing, i think i saw dei and itachi do each other's nails and talk about some cheesy gossip they found in heavens knows where and _thats _when i saw them make out! i was like shockers when i saw it and i think i contacted danna... then i think we passed out for some unknown reason.

itachi: -mutters- i better put curtains in my windows...

jjle: -waves his hand impatiently- now lets get back to the letter. -reads the letter-

sasori: -darkly- aint it obvious he _loves_ the itadei pairing! or you people didnt really fucking notice it?!

hidan: damn, puppetboy! youre really taking this fucking seriously. chill out, motherfucker!

sasori: you dont have the right to tell me to chill, fucking religious bastard! -lops off hidan's head-

hidan: -shocked- what the hell?! i just told you to fucking chill!

jjle: -shocked- damn! sasori is mentally deteriorating!

dongz: -sweatdrop- i know, danna... now, lets not disturb sasori-san if we all dont want to become part of his collection...

pein: -nods nervously- -reads the letter- all of my underlings take turns cleaning the lair except me and my konan-chan. but these past week, we didnt let sasori do anything since we noticed that he always go out and come back with a dead shinobi...

kisame: -sober- and i noticed that all of the dead bodies he brings home have black hair and has stress marks in their faces, just like itachi's! -shudders-

sasori: -shoots out a very venomous glare at everyone-

konan: -ran out- -calling back as she runs- RUN!! SASORI IS GONNA HAVE ANOTHER MERCILESS KILLING SPREE!!

everyone: -shrieks like little girls and runs out of the studio-

_A FEW HOURS LATER IN JJLE'S HOUSE..._

dongz: -nervous- o..ok... please send fan letters, reviews, etc.

jjle: -also nervous- -to dongz- s-sempai... do you think sasori's gonna kill deidara if he sees him??

-a bloodcurdling scream came from the akatsuki base-

dongz: -nervous- that sounds like dei!

**_BROUGHT TO YOU BY THE SEMPAI-DANNA SYSTEM. REMEMBER, SEMPAIS ARE AS EQUAL AS DANNAS!_**

_**BROUGHT TO YOU BY COOKIE PALACE. COOKIES ARE HEAVEN!**_


	9. Special Chapter: The ItaDeiSaso Showdown

dongz: hiya! now we will present to you a special chappie where our favorite uchiha and redhead are going to sing it all out to win over our favorite blonde's heart. i also have to tel you that this is a result for the last chappie's incident so please bear with us. and if you think that this is getting cheesy...well, you can blame me if u want. im just getting stressed out lately to think much.

jjle: donz-sempai doesnt own naruto or any characters or songs whatsoever in here. they belong to their respective owners.

dongz: now since the disclaimer is out lets meet our guests!

everyone: -applauses and cheers as all akatsuki members except itachi, deidara, and sasori enters and sits at their respective VIP seats-

jjle: also we brought along some special guests to accompany us!

everyone: -applauses,cheers,screams,etc. as Team Kakashi, sasuke, karin, suigetsu, juugo, kankurou, temari, gaara, chiyo, jiraiya, yamato, sai, orochimaru and kabuto goes to their VIP seats right next to the akatsuki members-

naruto: -notices sasuke's ramen-flavored popcorn- -to sasuke- can i have some?

sasuke: -not looking at naruto- no.

naruto: T.T -pouts-

jjle: -grins- before we start our showdown, lets meet our judge!

everyone: -claps their hands as deidara goes up the stage-

deidara: thank you, jeynald-san, hm. and now, i will present to all of you our 2 contestants, hm. -gestures at sasori and itachi as they climb up the stage-

random sasori fangirls: EEEEPPPP!! SASORI WE LOVE YOU!! XD

everyone: -sweatdrop-

random itachi fangirls: ITACHI WE LOVE YOU! XD

everyone: -extra sweatdrop-

dongz: -sweatdrop- okkk... now, let me interview our contestants before we start...

itachi: do you realy have to interview us? -.-'

dongz: dont worry, itachi-san. i'll only ask that why are are you willing to sing for deidei?

itachi: its because i will defend our secret relationship from that cold and emotionless puppet who aint fit to become deidara's lover.

sasori: -glares at itachi- grrr...

gaara: -from the VIP seats- -very loudly- haha! that blonde bitch is soo darn gay! damn, he managed to make the mass-murderer uchiha itachi and the genius puppet designer, akasuna no sasori, to fall for him! what a lucky gay bitch! XD

deidara: -vein pops out-

kankurou: -whispers to gaara- gaara! dont cause a scandal around here! even though youre kazekage you dont have a right to insult!

gaara: i dont care!

jjle: -sweatdrop- okkk... lets get this started, shall we?

dongz: -nods to jjle- i agree, danna. sasori's the first one to sing.

everyone: -claps their hands as sasori goes to the mic-

jjle: akasuna no sasori will be singing 'wake up call' by maroon 5.

audience: -applause-

sasori:

**I didn't hear what you were saying  
I live on raw emotion baby  
I answer questions never maybe  
And I'm not kind if you betray me  
So who the hell are you to say we  
Never would have made it babe**

**If you needed love  
Well then ask for love  
Could have given love  
Now I'm taking love  
And it's not my fault  
Cause you both deserve  
What is coming now  
So don't say a word**

**Wake up call  
Caught you in the morning with another one in my bed  
Don't you care about me anymore?  
Care about me?  
I don't think so.  
Six foot tall  
Came without a warning so I had to shoot him dead  
He won't come around here anymore  
Come around here? I don't think so.**

**Would have bled to make you happy  
You didn't need to treat me that way  
And now you beat me at my own game  
And now I find you sleeping soundly  
And your lovers screaming loudly  
Hear a sound and hit the ground**

**If you needed love  
Well then ask for love  
Could have given love  
Now I'm taking love  
And it's not my fault  
Cause you both deserve  
What's coming now  
So don't say a word**

**Wake up call  
Caught you in the morning with another one in my bed  
Don't you care about me anymore?  
Don't you care about me? I don't think so.  
Six foot tall  
Came without a warning so I had to shoot him dead  
He won't come around here anymore  
Come around here?  
I don't feel so bad, I don't feel so bad, I don't feel so bad**

**I'm so sorry darling  
Did I do the wrong thing?  
Oh, what was I thinking?  
Is his heart still beating?**

**Woah oh ohh**

**Wake up call  
Caught you in the morning with another one in my bed  
Don't you care about me anymore?  
Don't you care about me? I don't think so.  
Six foot tall  
Came without a warning so I had to shoot him dead  
He won't come around here anymore  
Come around here? I don't feel so bad**

**Wake up call  
Caught you in the morning with another one in my bed  
Don't you care about me anymore?  
Don't you care about me? I don't think so.  
Six foot tall  
Came without a warning so I had to shoot him dead  
He won't come around here anymore  
No, he won't come around here. I don't feel so bad**

**I don't feel so bad (_tobi:_ _Wake up call_)  
I don't feel so bad (_tobi: Caught you in the morning with another one in my bed_)  
I don't feel so bad (_tobi:_ _Don't you care about me anymore?_)  
Care about me? I don't feel so bad.  
Wake up call  
Caught you in the morning with another one in my bed  
Don't you care about me anymore? **

dongz: how kawaii!! tobi makes a good second voice! XD

jjle: -confused- but the song says that he shot him 'dead'... so why is itachi still alive??

dongz: -shrugs- probably shot his shadow clone, i guess...

jjle: -nods- makes sense. now lets see what dei-sempai has to say!

deidara: NO!! i wont tell you my reactions and thoughts, hm! -sticks out his tongue-

jjle: -rolls his eyes- fine. now for itachi, he'll be singing 'wherever you will go' by the calling

everyone: -applauses-

itachi: -makes his way to the mic while giving sasori a death glare, who is also giving him a death glare-

itachi:

_So lately, I've been wonderin_  
_Who will be there to take my place  
When I'm gone, you'll need love  
To light the shadows on your face  
If a great wave should fall  
It would fall upon us all  
And between the sand and stone  
Could you make it on your own_

_If I could, then I would  
I'll go wherever you will go  
Way up high or down low  
I'll go wherever you will go_

_And maybe, I'll find out  
The way to make it back someday  
To watch you, to guide you  
Through the darkest of your days  
If a great wave should fall  
It would fall upon us all  
Well I hope there's someone out there  
Who can bring me back to you_

_Runaway with my heart  
Runaway with my hope  
Runaway with my love_

_I know now, just quite how  
My life and love might still go on  
In your heart and your mind  
I'll stay with you for all of time_

_If I could turn back time  
I'll go wherever you will go  
If I could make you mine  
I'll go wherever you will go_

jjle: -in awe- i got to admit, they have great singing talents! they should get an audition to american idol!

dongz: -nods- yeah. even simon cant argue with their voices... and weapons.

jjle: -grins- i agree. they'll get richer by being an american idol in hollywood than being an akatsuki member in the narutoverse.

dongz: -shakes her head- nah, either will give the same value of wealth. anyway, thats the end of round 1. -turns to deidara- can we all know the winner for the 1st round?

deidara: -smiles- why yes, hm. the winner for this round is sasori-danna, hm.

sasori fans: yay! win this for us, sasori-san!

itachi fans: BOO!! sasori stinks! itachi is better!

everyone: -sweatdrop-

jjle: -sensing the upcoming commotion- um... please dont start rampaging again. the repair expense is already too expensive for us both.

dongz: -sweatdrop- yes. so please dont cause another war around here so that we can continue..

audience: -calms down-

jjle: good. n.n now for round 2, sasori-san will be singing 'apologize' by timbaland.

everyone: -applauses and cheers-

sasori:

**I'm holding on your rope,  
Got me ten feet off the ground  
And I'm hearing what you say but I just can't make a sound  
You tell me that you need me  
Then you go and cut me down, but wait  
You tell me that you're sorry  
Didn't think I'd turn around, and say...**

**That it's too late to apologize, it's too late  
I said it's too late to apologize, it's too late**

**I'd take another chance, take a fall  
Take a shot for you  
And I need you like a heart needs a beat  
But it's nothing new - yeah yeah**

**I loved you with the fire red-  
Now it's turning blue, and you say...  
"Sorry" like the angel heaven let me think was you  
But I'm afraid...**

**It's too late to apologize, it's too late  
I said it's too late to apologize, it's too late whoa...**

**Bridge (guitar/piano)**

**It's too late to apologize, it's too late  
I said it's too late to apologize, it's too late  
I said it's too late to apologize, yeah-  
I said it's too late to apologize, yeah-  
I'm holding on your rope, got me ten feet off... **

dongz: -to chiyo- so chiyo, what does it feel to find out that your grandson actually has a great singing talent? are you proud? ashamed?

chiyo: -thoughtfully- well at first, i regretted killing him...

-scene of sasori dying flashed in the 72-inch flat screen tv-

jjle: -grins- hehehe... i really love watching that scene over and over again. XD

dongz: -is irritated- damn it, danna! do you _really_ have to depress the sasori fans in our audience?!

sasori fans: -depressed- why does he really have to die...?

everyone: -sweatdrop-

jjle: -sweatdrop- um...i didnt mean it! sorry! n.n'

dongz: okkk... back to the question. -to chiyo- so after regretting it, what did you feel next?

chiyo: -smiles a little- well, after regretting, i suddenly felt proud of him. not only is he a great puppetmaster but also a great singer! thats something to be proud of! n.n

dongz: -nods- certainly true, chiyo-sama. -to konan- how about you, konan-chan? whats your reaction?

konan: -smirks- well, im kinda impressed that behind those stoned expression of their's they have a hidden talent.

dongz: -glances at sasori and itachi- they actually look stoned, dont they?

konan: -nods- yep. its like they're gonna kill you if youre gonna talk to them...

jjle: -waves at them impatiently- if i am to interrupt, can we get a move on?

dongz: oh yes, danna.

jjle: thanks, sempai. n.n for itachi's turn, he'll be singing 'far away' by nickelback.

everyone: -applauses and cheers-

sasuke: -shouts- lose this one, itachi!

itachi: -vein pops out-

everyone: -sweatdrop-

itachi: -glares at sasuke for a while then returns to the mic-

_This time, This place  
Misused, Mistakes  
Too long, Too late  
Who was I to make you wait  
Just one chance  
Just one breath  
Just in case there's just one left  
'Cause you know,  
you know, you know_

_CHORUS:  
That I love you  
I have loved you all along  
And I miss you  
Been far away for far too long  
I keep dreaming you'll be with me  
and you'll never go  
Stop breathing if  
I don't see you anymore_

_On my knees, I'll ask  
Last chance for one last dance  
'Cause with you, I'd withstand  
All of hell to hold your hand  
I'd give it all  
I'd give for us  
Give anything but I won't give up  
'Cause you know,  
you know, you know_

_(REPEAT CHORUS)_

_So far away__  
Been far away for far too long  
So far away__  
Been far away for far too long  
But you know, you know, you know_

_I wanted  
I wanted you to stay  
'Cause I needed  
I need to hear you say  
That I love you  
I have loved you all along  
And I forgive you  
For being away for far too long  
So keep breathing  
'Cause I'm not leaving you anymore  
Believe it  
Hold on to me and, never let me go  
Keep breathing  
'Cause I'm not leaving you anymore  
Believe it  
Hold on to me and, never let me go  
Keep breathing  
Hold on to me and, never let me go  
Keep breathing  
Hold on to me and, never let me go _

jjle: -in awe- wow! tobi and kisame are good second voices!

dongz: -nods- i agree, danna...

deidara: -blushes- thats a nice song, itachi-kun, hm...

itachi: -looks away- thanks, dei-chan...

itadei fans: AWWWW!! HOW SWEET!! -squeal-

everyone: -sweatdrop-

dongz: -sweatdrop- er... deidara-san, please announce the winner for this round...

deidara: -snaps out from his fantasy- oh right, hm. the winner for round 2 is...

random sasori fans: -chants- please let it be sasori... please let it be sasori...

deidara: ...the winner is itachi-kun, hm.

everyone: -le gasp-

jjle: -shocked- deidara-san! in my point of view, the song sasori-san sang is better than itachi's!

deidara: -frowns a little- it may be true, jeynald-san, hm. but if you try to understand the song, its very depressing to me, hm...

jjle: -rubs his chin thoughtfully- its too late to apologize... youre right! its rather depressing for you.

dongz: -darkly- so that means a tie breaker has to be done...

jjle: -a little worried- i guess youre right, sempai. a tie breaker must undergo. for now, lets have a commercial.

_COMMERCIAL BREAK..._

pein: want to be member of akatsuki? well here's your chance! just send in your resume via reviewing. we'll be accepting anyone! even noobs... let me show you the format for your resume. the italized words are examples, ok?

Name: _Uzumaki, Naruto _(even your pen name will be fine)

Abilities/ kekkei genkai: _kyuubi jinchuuriki_

gender: _male_

to whom i want to be partnered with: _itachi_

pein: but better be quick! 'coz we'll only be accepting _**20 **_recruits. we'll show the names of the newbies in the other chappies.

_BACK TO PROGRAM..._

dongz: -excited- and we're back! XD

jjle: -jumping up and down like a hyperactive kid- round 3's starting! -shakes dongz violently- ROUND 3'S STARTING!!

everyone: -sweatdrop-

dongz: -getting dizzy- da. nna. youre. stran. gling. ME!!

jjle: -lets go of dongz- -apologetically- sorry, sempai. im just so excited!

dongz: -gasping for air- its ok, danna... lets just get starting...

jjle: -smiles- ok! n.n itachi's first one up! he's going to sing 'here without you' by 3 doors down. -gestures his hand to itachi-

everyone: -claps and cheers-

itachi fans: -cheers- ITACHI! ITACHI! ITACHI!

itachi:

_ A hundred days have made me older  
Since the last time that I saw your pretty face  
A thousand lies have made me colder  
And I don't think I can look at this the same  
But all the miles that separate  
Disappear now when I'm dreaming of your face_

_I'm here without you baby  
But you're still on my lonely mind  
I think about you baby  
And I dream about you all the time  
I'm here without you baby  
But you're still with me in my dreams  
And tonight it's only you and me_

_The miles just keep rollin'  
As the people leave their way to say hello  
I've heard this life is overrated  
But I hope that it gets better as we go_

_I'm here without you baby  
But you're still on my lonely mind  
I think about you baby  
And I dream about you all the time  
I'm here without you baby  
But you're still with me in my dreams  
And tonight girl its only you and me_

_Everything I know, and anywhere I go  
It gets hard but it wont take away my love  
And when the last one falls  
When it's all said and done  
It gets hard but it wont take away my love_

_I'm here without you baby  
But you're still on my lonely mind  
I think about you baby  
And I dream about you all the time  
I'm here without you baby  
But you're still with me in my dreams  
And tonight girl its only you and me_

dongz: -thoughtfully- i noticed something, danna...

jjle: -turns to dongz- what, sempai?

dongz: i noticed that all the songs itachi sang is about this special person being far away.

jjle: -rubs his chin thoughtfully- well, itachi doesnt spend that much time with deidei... since he's not the partner of deidei-chan. who's always have to run around with saso-san.

dongz: that could be a good reason...

deidara: -blushes- thats a really good song, itachi-kun...

itachi: -smiles- thanks, my dei-chan!

dongz, jjle: -saw itachi smiling- O.o AAAHHH!! ITACHI'S SMILING!! ITS THE END OF THE WORLD!! -starts freaking out- -suddenly got hit by 2 flying baseball bats-

dongz: -rubs her head- OW!

someone in the crowd: please stop freaking out!

jjle: O.o that sounds like...

dongz: O.o no way... it cant be!

deidara: -sweatdrop- er... whats wrong, hm?

jjle: 'TACHI'S HERE!! -starts freaking out-

everyone: -sweatdrop-

itachi: ?? 'ta...chi...

-a girl about their age went up the stage-

the girl: -shakes dongz and jjle violently- will you stop freaking out!

dongz: -pleading- please, 'tachi-sama! dont kill us!!

'tachi: -drops them both- fine... since we have to continue this chappie... AND DONT CALL ME 'TACHI!

dongz: -recovering- wait, _we_? you gonna be a host too?!

'tachi: -in a threatening tone- GOT A PROBLEM ABOUT IT?!

dongz: O.o no, 'tachi-sama... just asking...

'tachi: -vein pops out- I TOLD YOU NOT TO CALL ME THAT!

dongz: -cowers a little- yes, 'ta- -sees 'tachi's glare- ...er... i mean, aiem-sama!

aiem: -smiles- good!

konan: -whispers to pein- sheez! that aiem is like madara... scary. and its as if dongz-chan and jjle-kun are us...

pein: -nods- i agree...

jjle: -straightens up- ok, for sasori, he'll be singing 'wont go home without you' by maroon 5

everyone: -claps and cheers-

sasori:

**I asked her to stay but she wouldn't listen  
She left before I had the chance to say  
Oh  
The words that would mend the things that were broken  
But now it's far too late, she's gone away**

**Every night you cry yourself to sleep  
Thinking: "Why does this happen to me?  
Why does every moment have to be so hard?"  
Hard to believe that**

**It's not over tonight  
Just give me one more chance to make it right  
I may not make it through the night  
I won't go home without you**

**The taste of her breath, I'll never get over  
The noises that she made kept me awake  
Oh  
The weight of things that remain unspoken  
Built up so much it crushed us everyday**

**Every night you cry yourself to sleep  
Thinking: "Why does this happen to me?  
Why does every moment have to be so hard?"  
Hard to believe that**

**It's not over tonight  
Just give me one more chance to make it right  
I may not make it through the night  
I won't go home without you**

**It's not over tonight  
Just give me one more chance to make it right  
I may not make it through the night  
I won't go home without you**

**Of all the things I felt but never really shown  
Perhaps the worst is that I ever let you go  
I should not ever let you go, oh oh oh**

**It's not over tonight  
Just give me one more chance to make it right  
I may not make it through the night  
I won't go home without you**

**It's not over tonight  
Just give me one more chance to make it right  
I may not make it through the night  
I won't go home without you  
And I won't go home without you  
And I won't go home without you  
And I won't go home without you**

deidara: AWWW!! DANNA! thats so sweet of you, hm! -glomps sasori-

everyone: AWWWWW!!

konan: -fangirl mode- AAAAWWWW!! thats so cute!!

**black-half zetsu: -drooling- zzzzzzzzz...**

_white-half zetsu: -ish angry- hey wake up! dont drool on our coat, dumbass! do you know how much kakuzu made me pay for the cleaning?! it cost me a whole year worth of salary! -.-"  
_

**black-half zetsu: -waking up- -yawns- huh? its over already?? the show just started, right?**

everyone: -sweatdrop-

deidara: -still snuggling at sasori- danna, yeah!

sasori: -trying to get deidara off- get offa me dei!

deidara: -still snuggling- danna, hm...

everyone: -sweatdrop-

sasori: -vein pops out- dei...

deidara: -still snuggling- DANNA, UN!

sasori: -really irritated- DEI!

deidara: -looks up- what, un?

hidan: -coughs loudly so that deidara would look at the audience-

deidara: -embarrassed- oh...uh hehe...

-crickets chirping-

aiem: -rolls eyes-ok... -turns to dongz and jjle- i do have to tell you both that the children below 10 years old in our audience are learning to cuss A LOT and most of them became shonen-ai fans at a very young age...

jjle: dont blame us! its not our fault that some kiddies want to watch!

sasori: -getting impatient- earth to the hosts! i dont like to be kept waiting!

dongz: -scratches her head- er.. right. dei-sempai will now tell us the winner for this showdown..

deidara: the winner is danna, un!!

sasori fans: YAY!! -starts celebrating-

itachi fans: aw poop... he lost! -starts leaving the studio-

everyone (yes, even the VIPs and hosts): KISS! KISS! KISS!!

tobi:

_**Hey...  
She want that lovey dovey (kisame: lovey dovey)  
That kiss kiss (kisame: kiss kiss)  
In her mind she fantasize bout gettin wit me  
They hatin on me (kisame: hatin on me)  
They wanna diss diss (kisame: kiss kiss)  
Because she mine, and so fine  
And thick as can be**_

_**She want that lovey dovey (kisame: lovey dovey)  
That kiss kiss (kisame: kiss kiss)  
In her mind she fantasize bout gettin wit me  
They hatin on me (kisame: hatin on me)  
They wanna diss diss (kisame: kiss kiss)  
Because she mine, and so fine  
Thick as can be**_

_**I'm a country boy from Tappahannock (kisame: aaooo)  
VA is where I reside  
So shawty understand it (kiasme: aaooo)  
And I know I just turned 18  
And I get a little manish (kisame: aaooo)  
And you see this bandana hangin  
That means I'm like a bandit  
Like-like a bandit-bandit  
(kisame: Aawwww, ruff)  
I got paper girl (kisame: ruff)  
The Lamborghini (kisame: ruff)  
With the spider seats (kisame: ruff)  
You neva seen it (kisame: aaooo)  
So get it shawty  
We parkin lot pimpin in my dome  
And I know what you want**_

_**She want that lovey dovey (kisame: lovey dovey)  
That kiss kiss (kisame: kiss kiss)  
In her mind she fantasize bout gettin wit me  
They hatin on me (kisame: hatin on me)  
They wanna diss diss (kisame: kiss kiss)  
Because she mine, and so fine  
Thick as can be**_

_**She want that lovey dovey (kisame: lovey dovey)  
That kiss kiss (kisame: kiss kiss)  
In her mind she fantasize bout gettin wit me  
They hatin on me (kisame: hatin on me)  
They wanna diss diss (kisame: kiss kiss)  
Because she mine, and so fine  
Thick as can be**_

_**I'm the epitamy of this demonstration  
I got the remedy  
Ya feelin me  
So why is you haten on my anatomy  
It's bird like (kisame: yeah)  
You heard right  
Girl I'm the king so that means I'm flyyy (kisame: awwww ruff)  
If you wit it girl (kisame: ruff)  
Get it poppin (kisame: ruff)**_

_**Roll wit me (kisame: ruff)  
Aint no stoppin (kisame: aaooo)  
So get it shawty  
We parking lot pimpin in my dome  
and I know what you want**_

_**She want that lovey dovey (kisame: lovey dovey)  
That kiss kiss (kisame: kiss kiss)  
In her mind she fantasize bout gettin wit me  
They hatin on me (kisame: hatin on me)  
They wanna diss diss (kisame: kiss kiss)  
Because she mine, and so fine  
Thick as can be**_

_**She want that lovey dovey (kisame: lovey dovey)  
That kiss kiss (kisame: kiss kiss)  
In her mind she fantasize bout gettin wit me  
They hatin on me (kisame: hatin on me)  
They wanna diss diss (kisame: kiss kiss)  
Because she mine, and so fine  
Thick as can be**_

_**(Tobi)  
Ah ah ah ah ah  
Shawty lemme holla at you  
You so hot hot hot hot  
You think I'd be hollen if you not not not not  
I'm king of the town you can take a look around  
Teddy Penderassdown in the spot spot spot spot  
(kisame: YEAAH) I got money on me  
(kisame: YEAAH) baby girl no problem  
(kisame: YEAAH) you rollin shawty  
(kisame: YEAAH) let's hit McDonalds (kisame: ruff)**_

_**It's Tobi and Kisame  
Ima nappy boy (random shit)**_

_**OOWWEEE**_

_**She want that lovey dovey (kisame: lovey dovey)  
That kiss kiss (kisame: kiss kiss)  
In her mind she fantasize bout gettin wit me  
They hatin on me (kisame: hatin on me)  
They wanna diss diss (kisame: kiss kiss)  
Because she mine, and so fine  
Thick as can be**_

_**She want that lovey dovey (kisame: lovey dovey)  
That kiss kiss (kisame: kiss kiss)  
In her mind she fantasize bout gettin wit me  
They hatin on me (kisame: hatin on me)  
They wanna diss diss (kisame: kiss kiss)  
Because she mine, and so fine  
Thick as can be**_

_**(Tobi  
kisame)  
Yeaaaaaa**_

_**BROUGHT TO YOU BY THE SEMPAI-DANNA SYSTEM. REMEMBER, SEMPAIS ARE AS EQUAL AS DANNAS!**_

_**BROUGHT TO YOU BY COOKIE PALACE. COOKIES ARE HEAVEN!**_


	10. back to normal

dongz: -waves- hiya!! we're back! and now we'll be back to normal. we still have tons of letters to be answered before we could get another special chappie...

jjle: sempai doesnt own naruto or anything in here. now lets get to the letters!! n.n

aiem: -stops jjle- before we start, let me announce the new akatsuki members, may i?

jjle: -holds up his hand- fine...

aiem: good. n.n the new members are as follows... -reads from a piece of paper- Zoe Nara and Amaterasu are the new members for today... Zoe Nara is partnered to itachi while Amaterasu is partnered to deidara.

deidara: yay, un!

everyone: -sweatdrop-

dongz: -sweatdrop- er...lets get starting.. -reads letter-

**from: Rockcrab**

**Itachi-sama is not in love with Sasuke. That would be creepy for me, not just because it's them either, but my friends and I have names. I am Itachi in the naming thing and so... well... we also have a Sasuke so it would be creepy. Just saying... Yeah, I said sorry once to one of my friends (Called Naruto) and he freaked out and ran away...**

**Tobi- Makes sense. It's ok, I agree, you are a good boy. Orochimaru-sama is awesome anyways.**

**Sincerely,  
Rockcrab**

itachi: -depressed- im not in love to sasuke! and i agree that its creepy... -nurses his sorrows-

hidan: -sweatdrop- why is our little Uchiha depressed?

pein: -rubs his chin thoughtfully- hm... probably because he's still sore from losing his one and only beloved blondie...

kisame: -sweatdrop- er... itachi? its ok! there are still your fan girls to love you!

itachi: -glares at kisame with his sharingan activated- you think its ok?!

kisame: O.o'

tobi: n.n yay! someone told me im a good boy!! im so happy!

dongz: -nods- yes, i can agree that oro can be awesome...

jjle: O.o you think he's awesome?? but he molests boys!

dongz: DX not that way! i find him awesome at some certain terms, like his jutsu and stuff...

aiem: -nods- well, at that point, dongz is correct.

jjle: -nods- well, atleast its not about the molestation of young boys!

dongz: now for the next letter! -reads next letter-

**from: Kayamie1224**

**so rude hidan, guess your scared :3**

**dares,  
orochimaru: go kill yourself**

**pein: let me join akatsuki**

**deidara/sasori: start making out**

sasori, deidara: -starts making out and makes some _sounds_ while doing it-

dongz: -fan mode- OH SO HOT! XD -takes pictures in her cellphone-

jjle, aiem: -takes pictures of the scene like a pair of paparazzi-

sasodei fans: EEEPPPP!! -videos the scene-

orochimaru -just arrived- my saso-kun! T.T

itachi: my dei-chan! T.T

**black-half zetsu: -yells at orochimaru-** **hey snaky! the letter says that you should kill yourself!**

orochimaru: -stabs himself with a kunai (but pretends to be dead, lolz)-

itachi: -extra emo mode- im so sad... -cries in a corner-

pein: -sweatdrop- er...well,please send your resume then...

_1 hour later..._

dongz: ok! since i already emptied the memory of my cellphone i'll get back to business...

hidan: -looks over at the scene- damn! when will blondie and his boyfriend stop making out?!

sasori, deidara: -still making out-

dongz: -sweatdrop- um... i'll read already.. -reads next letter-

**from: greenpanic6**

**i have questions for Deidara one what sort of shampoo do you use i love your hair. and the other why do you always say 'un' all the time? oh wait one from Itaichi do you like oreos? oh and Tobi i love so much you should eat smores!**

tobi: yay! im so loved! and yes, i'll eat some smores after this. n.n

itachi: well, ever since i saw zetsu i got afraid of eating oreos because he looks like them, minus the fly trap.. -goes back to sobbing-

**black-half zetsu: hey!**

deidara: -breaks away from the kiss- my shampoo is strawberry extract, un...

sasori: and thats one of the things i like about him... -goes back making out with deidara-

dongz: -fan mode- SO HOT!! XD

pein: -slaps some sense into dongz- you can go fan girly after this ok. lets just continue.

dongz: -folds her arms on her chest- fine... -reads next letter-

**From:ShimgamiAkatsukiMember **

**Het,Zetsu! It's me Yuna, you know the girl with the short brown hair,plus i have orange fox ears and tail. We meet in Las Vegaes. What did you and Tobi do when you went back to the hotel? Kisame:I made a religon were we all worship you.gives him 900,0,0 dollars Orochimaru:gets killed by a pink bunny with a chainsaw Sasuke:get's killed by the same pink bunny**

_white-half zetsu: -thinks- i dont remember anyone in the name of yuna that we met on vegas..._

tobi: oh, zetsu-san! didnt you remember? she was the one who gave me a free plane ticket back to home!

_white-half zetsu: -still thinking- i still dont remember..._

tobi: -shakes his head- oh well... all we did when we got back to the hotel was watch some tv shows! i love it when we watched barney! n.n

jjle: -back from taking pictures- ugh... i hate barney...

kisame: IM RICH!! AND IM RESPECTED!! -does a happy dance-

everyone: -sweatdrop-

aiem: -back from taking pictures- oh well, lets get to the next letter. -reads next letter-

**from: dongz-sempai95**

**hahaha!! my reign of terror will begin!!**

**so...um... this is just a request.**

**everyone will call 7 akatsuki members in the name of the main characters of ouran high school host club!! and that will take effect until the end of the next chapter! XD  
**

**heres the 7 lucky akatsuki members!**

**pein- tamaki**

**konan- haruhi**

**itachi- kyoya**

**tobi- mitsukuni**

**zetsu- takashi**

**sasori- hikaru**

**deidara- kaoru**

**hahaha!! thats all! n.n**

aiem: -back from taking pictures- OMG! ouran?! sweet!!

dongz: -grins- hehehe... hikaru and kaoru are here!!

jjle: -confused- what anime is ouran?

dongz: -turns to jjle- its a romance/comedy school anime.

jjle: -still confused- so?

dongz: so... its funny!

jjle: ...

dongz: -rolls her eyes- its better if he watch it...

aiem: -nods- i agree...

_5 ouran high school host club episodes later..._

jjle: -fan mode- OMG! sasori and deidara are somehow like hikaru and kaoru alright!

dongz: -ish proud- and thus the birth of another ouran fan has happened...

tamaki (pein): -conceited- that tamaki guy sure is good-looking, like me!

everyone: -sweatdrop-

mitsukuni (tobi): awwww!! do all of you think that im like mitsukuni? then that means im cute!! :D tobi is a good boy!

hidan: damn! puppetboy and blondie are _exactly _like that! even up until now, they hadnt fucking gave up on making out!

hikaru (sasori), kaoru (deidara): -still making out-

haruhi (konan): -sweatdrop- this is getting weird lately... but still, its HOT!

jjle: now for the next letter!! -reads next letter-

**from: -the-eighth-hokage-**

**Hey guys, I'm back again. Just wonderin on what to ask.**

**To everyone in the studio: Has anyone noticed that Sasori looks like the one in McDonalds... you know with the red hair and stuff.**

**To Itachi: Why don't you love your brother who has his hair looking like a chickens butt?**

**To Tobi: So... you're a good boy right, but why are you a S-Ranked criminal? Good boys aren't criminals you know... anyways two cookies for you. hands over 2 white choco chip oatmeal cookies**

**To everyone except Sasuke and Oro: Gives white chocolate frappuchino and cookies like tobi's**

jjle: thanks! -ate his treat in the speed of light-

aiem: -sweatdrop- er... aint you gonna choke at that speed?

dongz: -shakes her head- nah, he wont...

mitsukuni (tobi): -sets aside his treats- yes! tobi... i mean, mitsukuni is a good boy! and like what mitsukuni said earlier, takashi-san told mitsukuni to become an S-class criminal if he is a good boy. so... mitsukuni became a criminal to prove that mitsukuni is a good boy! n.n

haruhi (konan): -looks at hikaru (sasori)- he doesnt look like that mascot of McDonalds at all! i mean, that mascot looks creepy while he looks sexy... there's a HUGE difference!

tamaki (pein): -clearly jealous- you like him, dont you??

haruhi (konan): -aware of tamaki's (pein's) jealousy- thats not what i meant, my pein... i mean, tamaki-chan! -kisses tamaki (pein) in the cheek-

tamaki (pein): oh ok! n.n

kyoya (itachi): -still emo- i will never love him! he lacks hate and fashion sense! -goes back to his own little world-

everyone: -sweatdrop-

aiem: -sweatdrop- er... lets get going.. -reads next letter-

**from: scorpion-master25**

**This is scorpion-master-25's friend, from reading the other dares, amaterasu's reign of terror continues... Have fun with that. Also, Amaterasu-san, I would like to see this 'unimaginable torcher' It sounds interesting, hehehe... priceless reactions for thy camera, and I know too where the base is, not by wikipedia, you may begin hating the internet as of now. ) That is all.**

**Bye-bye.**

dongz: ah yes, her reign of terror continues alright. n.n

jjle: -nods- yeah. priceless reactions alright! n.n

tamaki (pein): -ish angry- i hate the internet! they keep spilling out our secrets!

kakuzu: -shocked- leader-sama! how could you say that?! the internet is also where we fund ourselves, other than the bounty.

tamaki (pein): -quizzically- how do they fund us then?

kakuzu: -fidgets in his seat- um... er... you see... well...

hidan: -screams- HE FUCKING INSTALLED GODDAMN CAMERAS IN EVERYONE'S FUCKING ROOMS AND SELLS/AUCTIONS THE BITCH VIDEOS IN EBAY!

haruhi (konan): O.o say what?!

kakuzu: -still fidgeting- well, atleast we reaped a hundred thousand bucks on the ItaDei slumber party! also we reaped millions in the SasoDei vids that i sold! aint that a nice job! n.n'

kyouya (itachi), (deidara), sasori: O.o say what again?! (un)

aiem: -in her thoughts- _this getting weirder and weirder... _-decides to read the next letter-

**from: 9shadowcat9**

**Confusing... Ok akatsuki, thanks to Konan I say... JUMP INTO THE SUN AND GET TORTURED BY SATAN AND ALL THINGS EVIL OR TO CUTE FOR YOUR SANITY! Minus Tobi and Dediara, they're cool. #Gives them both video games and sweets# And Sanky? You tried to kill the 5th so you're dead in my books. And you know that prank call yesterday? Me. ; That was funny! And Sasuke? Get a new hairstyle, copy Itachi's or something. And make amends with your brother idiot. Itachi, at least apologise for killing your clan.**

haruhi (konan): -whines- do i have to, my tamaki-chan? -puppy eyes-

tamaki (pein): of course not!

jjle: -rolls his eyes- sempai...

dongz: -sighs- for the sake of our readers... _**PLOT NO JUTSU!**_

haruhi (konan): -left the studio to the dare-

tamaki (pein): -to dongz- what have you done?! T.T she'll burn in the sun! she's made of paper, dammit!

dongz: -reassuring- relax. my plot no jutsu wont allow haru-chan to burn like paper so calm down.

aiem: -in awe- since when did you learned that?

dongz: -ish proud- every member of fanfiction that knows naruto learns that! watch danna...

aiem: -watches jjle-

jjle: _**PLOT NO JUTSU!**_

hikaru (sasori), kaoru (deidara): -started worshiping jashin-

hidan: -overjoyed- more jashin believers! XD

everyone: -sweatdrop-

jjle: -pondering- what was my releasing jutsu again, sempai?

kisame: -slaps his forehead- oh brother! he forgot!

jjle: -rubs his chin thoughtfully- -mutters- what was it again...cookies? plushies? tobi is a good boy...?

dongz: thats my releasing jutsu...

jjle: tobi is a good boy?

dongz: yes

jjle: -decides to go back finding out his releasing jutsu- hm... dei-sempai?

hikaru (sasori), kaoru (deidara): -suddenly got blown out of the studio-

jjle: -jumps up and down- oh yeah! thats the releasing jutsu!

everyone: -sweatdrop-

mitsukuni (tobi): yay! i got sweets and video games! its rather sad that kaoru-sempai didnt accepted his gifts! -points to the sweets and video games for deidara- -shrugs- oh well! -eats his sweets- yummy!

sasuke: -looks at himself at the mirror- would i really look better if i copied itachi's hairstyle... -obviously doesnt want to make amends-

orochimaru: -miraculously went back to life- i hate that prank call! it made me look like an idiot right in front of sasuke-kun!

kyoya (itachi): -folds his arms at his chest- i aint saying sorry! they made me act like im only suppose to follow their orders around! grrr...

dongz: for the next letter! -reads next letter-

**from: Crazed Anime Fanatic**

**hi! i have some things to say. first sasori,deidara,zetsu,and tobi are awsome! i love them! second orochimaru needs to go die a slow death, itachi you suck but so does your brother, deidara i dont think your look like a girl, and zetsu your NOT a frek. k?  
ok my questions are:  
why is there only 1 girl?  
why do sasori and deidara die? why?  
this is for pein why do u have so many percings?**

_white-half takashi (zetsu): -hopeful- we're not freaks? yay! we're normal and awesome!!_

**black-half takashi (zetsu): shut up! theyre probably just faking it...**

_white-half takashi (zetsu): they wouldnt!_

**black-half takashi (zetsu): yes they would!**

_white-half takashi (zetsu): they wouldnt! DX_

**black-half takashi (zetsu): i told you, they would!**

takashi (zetsu): -argues to himself again-

kyoya (itachi): -uber emo by now- great! another anti-itachi! T.T

kaoru (deidara), hikaru (sasori): -got back-

jjle: -reads the letter for the artists-

kaoru (deidara): of course, un! im awesome and i dont look like a girl, un!

orochimaru: why do everyone hates me.. T.T is it because i went back to the akatsuki??

hidan: -shocked- OMFG! since when did you fucking came back, snaky?!

hikaru (sasori): -boredly- well, yeah! havent you notice him around the base? i know you watched some stupid soap opera with him a few days ago...

hidan: -remembers- oh yeah. i fucking did...

dongz: answer the questions...

haruhi (konan): mmmmright... the reason why we only have 1 girl is because i dont want pein to have some relationship to other girls than me! grrr... -grabs pein-

jjle, dongz, aiem: -sweatdrop- _so possessive..._

tamaki (pein): -still in konan's grasp- as i have told, piercings make me look cooler...

everyone: -sweatdrop-

hikaru (sasori): -bored- i died because of my granny and that pink-haired brat...

kaoru (deidara): -also bored- i died because of that emo brother of itachi, un. well more likely i transformed myself to the most beautiful art there is, un...

sasuke: -pops out from nowhere- thats a lie! my sharingan saw through your eyes! your eyes told me you want to reunite with your boyfriend by killing yourself!

sakura: -pops out from nowhere- i knew it! sasori is in love with that blondie!

dongz: -starts twitching-

aiem: O.o whats happening to you, dongz?

dongz: -still twitching-

jjle: -panics- oh no! she's gonna go anti-sakura on us all! -to sakura- quick sakura! RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!! SHE'S A PROUD MEMBER OF THE ANTI-SAKURA FC IN NARUTO FORUMS!!

sakura: O.o -quickly disappears-

dongz: -stops twitching-

pein: -sighs in relief-

aiem: so um... thats it for this chappie.

dongz: please send questions, reviews, etc.

jjle: and cookies, plushies, and sweets! n.n

dongz: -sweatdrop- danna, you already had a roomful of those in your house, right?

jjle: but i ate them all! n.n

dongz: O.o even that deidara plushie that i gave to you?

aiem: O.o and the zetsu plushie that i bought?

jjle: erm... not the plushies.. -sweatdrop-

_**BROUGHT TO YOU BY THE SEMPAI-DANNA SYSTEM. REMEMBER, SEMPAIS ARE AS EQUAL AS DANNAS!**_

dongz: -ish sad-

jjle: whats wrong, sempai?

dongz: george already left for abroad...

jjle: what?! george? you mean your neighbor that once cosplayed as sasori?!

dongz: yeah, he's the one. and you know his girlfriend, right?

jjle: -thinks- you mean the girl that you said that once cosplayed as deidara?

dongz: yep. and because george left without telling us, she went emo on me.

jjle: what kind of emo? uchiha emo or 'deidara style-my danna left me' emo?

dongz: the second one...

jjle: so why are you affected?

dongz: its because she kept crying at my shoulder! she's soaking my clothes!

jjle: ...

_**BROUGHT TO YOU BY COOKIE PALACE. COOKIES ARE HEAVEN!**_

_**BROUGHT TO YOU BY THE ANTI-SASOSAKU FC AND THE ANTI-DEISAKU**_ _**FC.**_


	11. another chappie

dongz: hiya! we're back! sorry for not updating. school kept me very busy...

aiem: -stares at resume- um... chiyoko hyuuga's resume didnt tell us chiyoko's gender and to whom chiyoko wants to be partnered with...

tamaki (pein): who cares?! maybe he... or she, wants to work alone. just hire chiyoko!

aiem: fine... chiyoko hyuuga is the new akatsuki member and is a lone worker.

jjle: that means there are still 17 more slots to fill in.

dongz: -nods- youre right, danna. now for the disclaimer...

jjle: sempai doesnt own anything in this fic. now lets proceed!

aiem: -reads first letter-

**from: kpizkool**

**Why wasn't my question here? :'( I feel so unloved...  
Now i'm angry...Punches Hidan I'm ok now (I'm not really mad i just wanted to do that)  
Tobi...you are not a good boy...you are a VERY good boy How many times have you said that?  
before i go...punches pein & decapitates Hidan**

**Over and out! kpizkool**

tobi: -ish happy- yay! i've upgraded! n.n

dongz: -apologetically- oh sorry! let me get your letter from our letters box... -goes to a box filled with letters then rummages in it-

hidan: -decapitated- what the fuck is that for?!

tamaki (pein): -rubbing his cheek while sobbing- -hugs konan- haru-chan! she hurt me! T.T

haruhi (konan): -sweatdrop-

jjle: thats so cute! n.n

dongz: -got a letter- i got it! -reads the letter-

**from: kpizkool**

**What's next? XD Dance off?**

jjle: -rubs his chin- as far as i know, we're still deciding what we're gonna do for the next special chappie...

aiem: -rubs her chin- i thought we already decided to film the akatsuki as actors for our version of 'Snakes in a Plane'

dongz: nah, we postponed that since orochimaru doesnt want to be the snakes...

orochimaru: i dont like it! DX especially when the script requires saso-kun to say 'i had enough with this motherfucking snakes in the motherfucking plane!' T.T

everyone: -sweatdrop-

dongz: so maybe, we can have a dance off or maybe another thing...

jjle: -folds his arms on his chest- if its not a dance off then that means i wasted my money for our dance dance revolution set!

aiem: you didnt waste it! in fact, itachi is using it as a distraction from his emoness!

kyouya (itachi): -plays the dance dance revolution along with kisame in extreme mode-

hidan: -got his head stitched back to his body- damn! i didnt even know sharky plays dance dance revolution like me and itachi!

tamaki (pein): -sweatdrop- hidan, _everyone _in the akatsuki is a dance dance revolution champ...

hidan: -shocked- really?! even those pansy artists??

tamaki (pein): well yeah...

hidan: -runs his chin- then who has the highest score among all of us then??

tamaki (pein): actually, you and itachi has the perfect scores...

dongz: NEXT

jjle: -reads kp's next letter-

**from: kpizkool**

**Lol XD**

**Itachi are you ever homesick?No lies i'll sick the fangirls on you.  
Hidan how many times have you been decapitated?  
Can i decapitate you?  
Pein...can i punch you? XD IDK random.**

kyouya (itachi): -not looking away from DDR- NOOOO!! NOT THE FANGIRLS!!

kisame: -also not looking away from DDR- calm down, kyouya-san. just answer the question.

kyouya (itachi): -still not looking away from DDR- well, im not homesick at all! if you want to know then let me just say konoha shinobi will try to kill me since they view me as an enemy...

tamaki (pein): -still rubbing hi cheek- you already punched me! T.T you ruined my beautiful face!

everyone: -sweatdrop-

hidan: -irritated- NO! YOUU ALREADY FUCKING DECAPITATED ME AND NOW YOU WANT TO FUCKING DECAPITATE ME AGAIN?!

aiem: for the next question! -reads next question-

**from: Amaterasu77**

**Heyo!  
Pein: Heres ma resume!  
Name: Amaterasu**

**Abilities/ kekkei genkai: Half wolf, can control wolves, psychic powers, can turn into a wolf, will kill for you and i have the sharanigiran.**

**gender: female**

**to whom i want to be partnered with: deidara or sasori  
Itachi: I have the Sharanigiran because. Dun dun dun dun! I am your daughter!  
Dares: (You're all gonna die! Except Gaara-Kun, Dei-Kun and Sasori-Kun)  
Gaara: Sing the , I've got a Jar Of Dirt song. You know the one off youtube?  
Deidara: YOU'RE CHEATING ON ME! DO YOU WANT TO GET TORCHRED THEN DIE!? If not I suggest you make it up to me.  
Everyone(Except OrochiGAYo and SasuGAY): Cookies for all! -Dumps a liftime supply of cookies on everyone-!  
Me: -Starts singin Numb by Linkin Park- Join in everyone!  
OrochiGAYo: -Revives- Jump into a lake,get torchred by Satan,jump off Tokyo Tower,go into the sun without dying then meet the GAY tree hugger Masaya from Tokyo Mew Mew and finnally into the torchreous therepy of mine we go! Or I'll kill your SasuGAY-Kun. MUAHAHAHA!  
Deidara: Elmo knows where you live  
-Suddenly I aapear on the show and appear behind Kisame everyone watches whats happening without Kisame knowing- -I start sying the Jaws theme. Then when its finished i bite him dissapearing-MUAHAHAHAHA!  
Hidan: Even if you wanted to kill me you can't. Because ma dad aka Itachi will kill you!  
Naruto: Here a lifetime supply of Ramen that cannot be taken away from you and will last forever and wont run out. -Gives said ramen-  
Karin: Go die in a hole! YOU ARE A B-T THAT DOENT UNDERSTAND THAT NOBODY LIKES YOU!  
Thats all for now! Luvs ya!**

everyone: -le gasp-

kisame: -accidentally lost in DDR- -holds his bitten part- AAAAHHHH!! IT HURTS LIKE SHIIIITTTT!!

naruto: -overjoyed- yay! ramen! -starts eating the ramen-

kyouya (itachi): -also lost in DDR- -shocked- what?! i have a daughter?! since when?! -starts freaking out-

hidan: -shocked- EEEPPP!! -looks at itachi- on second thought, i think i dont want to endure itachi's tsukuyomi... -shudders at a very disturbing memory-

orochimaru: -ran out of the studio to do the dare-

gaara: -starts singing Jar of Dirt and complete with the dance moves in YouTube-

everyone: O.o

kaoru (deidara): -holds sasori- dannaaaa!! i dont wanna die!!

hikaru (sasori): -sweatdrop- dei, she's your other partner... go to her house or to our base right now and do something about it...

kaoru (deidara): -nods to sasori then left-

karin: -still happy- my fans likes me! and so are the sasukarin fans! n.n

dongz, aiem: -sweatdrop- uh... eww...

jjle: -munching on the cookies- thanks for the cookies!

_48 hours later..._

orochimaru: -returns to the studio with a tortured expression-

dongz: -teasingly- -to orochimaru- so, you had fun with satan and the therapy?

orochimaru: -faints-

sasuke: -looks at orochimaru- i'll take that as a yes.. n.n

kaoru (deidara): -also returned-

jjle: -munching on another set of cookies and cake- so what did you did to please amaterasu-chan?

kaoru (deidara): -sits down right next to sasori- ohhh.. i just apologized and gave her a kiss on the cheek, un...

jjle: -still munching his treats- speaking of kisses... -to sasori- is that fine with you?

hikaru (sasori): -shrugs- its fine. we always have to do that to keep our fame to our fangirls in order...

dongz: -to itachi- so itachi... how does it feel to find out that your new member in the akatsuki is actually your daughter...

itachi: -thinks hard- i wonder who's the mother...

jjle: for the next question! -reads next letter-

**from: dongz-sempai95**

**hiya! i've decided to take off your temporary ouran names. but in the expense of that... i've decided that tobi and sasori will have a round against each other in DDR. if sasori wins, he'll have a Ferrari FXX and tobi has to resist saying 'tobi is a good boy' until the next chappie. if tobi wins, he'll have Lamborghini Reventon and sasori has to stay 50 meters away from dei. now let the DDR round begin!**

tobi: -overjoyed- yay! a better model of Lamborghini for free! my Lamborghini Gallardo costs only 250,000 dollars! but that new Lamborghini costs _one million dollars! _tobi even bet its a load faster than my old Lamborghini... tobi must win new Lamborghini!

dongz: -nudges tobi- and the best part is...

haku: -suddenly drives in on the prize car for tobi-

tobi: -got dazzled as he saw the Lamborghini's color which is the same color as his mask and has words written on the side saying 'Goob Boy Driving Thru'. it also has the picture of tobi painted on the front- EEEEPPP! tobi finds it perfect! tobi says its shiny!!

deidara: -awestruck- wow, un! that car costs one million?! that's too cheap for a car that artistic, un!

sasori: -just shrugs- nah, the Ferrari FXX costs a thousand times more expensive than that... and i know i'll win my car...

deidara: -wide-eyed- _one.. billion, un??_ from your 250-thousand Ferrari thats the next version, un?!

jjle: ...the car is a beauty... -snaps his fingers-

zabuza: -drives in on the prize car for sasori-

deidara: -awestruck as he saw the shiny car. the car has the same color as sasori's maroon hair and has words written in a spiky way on the side saying 'Hot RedHead'. the front, however, has sasori and deidara's hot poses painted on it- AAHHHH!! ITS TOO ARTISTIC, UN!!

everyone: -sweatdrop-

aiem: -sweatdrop- um... if you really want to get those cars how about lets start?

tobi, sasori: -goes to their respective spot on the DDR set-

dongz: now give me the bets!

akatsuki members and other naruto villains: -flocked around dongz to give their bets-

jjle: let me see! -grabs the betting paper- -reads it-

_pein- sasori, 1000_

_konan- sasori, 1500_

_zetsu- tobi, 95,000_

_itachi- tobi, 100,000  
_

_deidara- sasori, 100,000  
_

_kisame- tobi, 50  
_

_hidan- sasori, 7500  
_

_kakuzu- sasori, 100,000  
_

_sasuke- tobi, 50,000_

_karin- tobi, 30,000  
_

_juugo- tobi, 100  
_

_suigetsu- tobi, 100  
_

_orochimaru- sasori, 100,000  
_

_kabuto- sasori, 50_

jjle: -sweatdrop- sheez! they bet a hundred thousand dollars for those 2?!

aiem: let the DDR round begin!

tobi, sasori: -started playing DDR in extreme mode-

_5 hours later..._

hidan: -yawn- when in fucking jashin will one of them lose?!

kakuzu: -grins behind his mask- easy! -throws a banana peel on tobi's DDR set-

tobi: -trips as he accidentally stepped on the peel-

people that bet on sasori: yay! we won!

sasori: i finally got my car!! XD

aiem: well... i guess this is the end of the chappie.. for now. i'm leaving hosting... i'll go for criminology..

jjle: -bored- well good luck for that...

dongz: please send reviews since it makes writers like me happy...

_**BROUGHT TO YOU BY THE-**_

dongz: -impatient- why bother saying the sponsors if everyone already knows it?! i wanna go home already!


	12. just another chappie

dongz: hiya! school is suCh a bummer so dont expect me to update fast.

jjle: sempai doesnt own naruto or anything in this story. NOW LETS PROCEED!

itachi: -to dongz- so you really think deidara is the perfect uke for me?

dongz: -nods- yeah. he likes art and you dont like it at all... -says it like how sid said it in Ice Age 2- he _completes _you! -starts bursting laughter-

everyone else except itachi, deidara and sasori: -also starts rolling over the floor laughing-

jjle: -in between laughs- he _completes _you! wahahahahaahaha!!

hidan: -laughing hysterically- WAHHAHAHAHAHA!! FUCKING PANSIES!!

_1 hour later..._

dongz: -back to normal- ok, our laughing session is over. now, we will announce the new members!

jjle: -reads from a piece of paper- the new members are harumi, who is paired to no one; kana-chan, who is paired with zetsu; hex-chan, who's paired with tobi (sorry, just one partner); fuuma-kun, who's paired to hidan.

pein: -overjoyed- OMG! IM NOT THE ONLY ONE WITH RINNEGAN!! X3

dongz: -remembers something- oh yeah, danna. chiyoko-san edited her resume. chiyoko's a girl and i suggest she should be partnered to deidara since she thinks art is a bang!

jjle: okie... but seriously, art is sketches...

sasori, deidara: -vein pops out-

dongz: -shakes her head- no danna... art is literature.

sasori: -already pissed- you are such idiots about art...

dongz, jjle: dont wory, sasori-sempai. sketches and literature are under the category of immortal art...

sasori: -shocked- really?!

dongz: -rolls her eyes- duh!

sasori: WOOHOO! n.n

deidara: no fair, un!

jjle: now lets answer letters! -reads first letter-

**from: Gaaragirl829**

**Sorry, I'm not signed in.. too lazy. TT ANyways...  
OMGSH.  
TOBI- ILU  
Saso- ILU  
Dei- ILU**** Also.. you SHALL die if you call Deidara a girl.  
And... TOBI SASORI DIEDARA LETS GO LIVE IN A HAREM TOGETHER!**

dongz: ahh... laziness is always there in every writer...

jjle: i know. and thats why you stopped writing that much n.n

dongz: -denying- school keeps me busy! DX

jjle: -ignores- yeah, yeah... oh right, its reverse harem.

deidara: -resting his head on sasori's shoulder- thanks but no thanks, un. i dont want to live in a harem, un.

sasori: -rests his head on deidara's- if deidei doesnt want to then so do i..

tobi: -waves his hand energetically- OH! OH! I'LL LIVE IN A HAREM W/ YOU!!

dongz: but tobi, that aint harem anymore. its just partners.

tobi: -still cheery- yay!

everyone: -sweatdrop-

jjle: NEXT!

dongz: reads next letter-

**from: Art is a bang XD**

**Hi ;  
I want to ask the Akatsuki some questions  
1) Itachi: Do have you ever used Mangekyo Sharingan on Pein-sama? Erm...are you blind? Oh, and back off Dei-kun evil smirk or else...I'll strip you of all nail polish! Mwuhahahah- gets hit by stage light  
2) Kisame: Why does your Samehada only listen to you?  
3) Deidara: What-sort-of-girl-do-you-like? (If you're not gay?) blushes and turns away  
4) Sasori: Is there any particular reason you turned yourself into a puppet? Oh, and do you even have feelings?  
5) Kazuku: Have you realized money isn't everything in the world?  
6) Hidan: What if I told you I'm not religious?  
7) Konan: Don't you feel disturbed in an organisation when you're the only girl?  
8) Zetsu: Have you ever tried eating another Akatsuki member? (like Kisame?)  
9) shivers T...Tobi: If you're a good boy, why are you evil? Good boys are GOOD! GOOD I say! If you're evil then you're not good! Get it?  
10) Da Leader/Pein-sama: How do you feel having a bunch of idiots points to Tobi under your command?**

**Oh, and I want to join Akatsuki!**

**Name: Chiyoko Hyuuga**

**Abilities/ kekkei genkai: Byakugan (**

itachi: O/.\o what?! youll strip us off of nail polish?!

kakuzu: -doing some sort of treasurer task- well, atleast we can save the money w/c is used to buy our nail polish. and no, i havent realized it.

itachi: NOOOOO!! -starts freaking out-

kisame: -sighs- i guess i have to answer his question. he uses mangekyo sharingan on leader-sama whenever he didnt approve to his wishes.

pein: one time, he tsukuyomi'd me, and it showed that the whole akatsuki are yaoi pairings! i swear the horror of seeing zetsu and tobi making out! especially the part when i saw my precious little konan having a yuri pairing. -shuders and shivers-

dong, jjle: AAAAAHHHHH!! THE MENTAL IMAGES!! IT BURNS!! -starts twitching-

_a few moments later..._

itachi: -reads the letter- im not blind!

zetsu: -hits itachi at the back of his head-

itachi: -stands up and puts his hand in front of him- NOBODY MOVES! I THINK MY CONTACTS FELL OUT! -starts fumbling around-

dongz, jjle: -sweatdrop-

kisame: i told you he's blind... -watches itachi bump his head to the couch and saying sorry to it-

itachi: -accidentally pokes deidara's foot-

deidara: -blushes- itachi-kun! stop poking my foot, un!

itachi: -jumps on deidara's lap in chibi mode- dei-chan! my sweet dei-chan! -starts rubbing his head on deidara's chest-

deidara: -blushes madly- itachi, here's your extra pair of eye contacts, un. -puts the contacts on itachi's eyes-

itachi: -chibi mode- i love you, dei-chan! -resumes in snuggling at deidara-

evil tobi: -very proud that has tears in his eye- my litle prodigy is growing up! -sniffle- he finally found his love! -blows his nose in a tissue-

dongz: -smiles- how sweet... hey, why is sasori-sempai holding a baseball bat?

sasori: DIE ITACHI!! -swings the bat but itachi did a kawarimi jutsu-

itachi: -appears behind the couch- that was close...

sakura: -opens the back stage door- did anyone saw my sasuke-kun? -sees a flying log going towards her- O.o what the- -got hit on the head-

dongz, anti-sakura people: bull's eye! yehey!

jjle: -getting impatient- answer the letters, please!

kisame: -reads the letter- well duh! its my personal weapon after all.

deidara: the kind of girl that i want is... -whispers something to sasori-

sasori: -crosses his arms- no, i dont want to, deidei-chan.

deidara: -pleading- pwease danna, un...

sasori: -firmly- no

deidara: -pouts- fine... -does a hand seal- _**KAWAII NO JUTSU! -**_uber cute chibi version- pwease danna, un

sasori, itachi: -le gasp- OH SO CUTE!! (and no, i dont want to)

deidara: T.T fine danna. the type of girl that i like is a female version of sasori-danna, un.

jjle: heh, youre absolutely obsessed with sasori-sempai. now answer!

sasori: -reads the letter- the true reason is that i will stay immortal and young! and yes i can still feel and have emotions. when that pink-haired bitch punched me i have to suppress myself from yelling out in pain. it hurts like shit! and if i dont have feelings then why did i loved my little dei-chan...

itachi: -mumbles- i did wished that you had no feelings so that i could have my dei-chan...

sasori: -angry- what did you just said?!

jjle: ANSWER PLEASE!

dongz: please, answer now 'coz my danna is getting impatient

kakuzu: -counting the akatsuki bills- as i said earlier, i havent realized it and i'll never be

hidan: -busy sacrificing a squirrel-

konan: -doing another origami project- nah, the new recruits are mostly girls. so it means im no longer the only girl

kakuzu: -still counting the akatsuki bills- those new recruits are a pain in the wallet. we have to build adjoining rooms for our new recruits and we have to feed more mouths, for money's sake!

**black-half zetsu: well yeah! if you look at the previous chapters, we tried to eat sharky over there. -points at kisame-**

kisame: -cowering behind itachi-

everyone: -sweatdrop-

tobi: -scratches his head- i dont get it

everyone: -extra sweatdrop-

pein: -sigh- its hard working with these idiots. i mean look at them! -points at his minions- i have freaks and a freaking threesome in here.

itachi: true...

_imagine the next scene as though its a hikaru-kaoru moment on ouran XD..._

sasori: -puts his face so close to deidara's that their noses touch- its definitely true. right, dei-chan?

deidara: -in a high pitched voice (the same one as kaoru's)- sasori...

dongz, sasodei fans: OMG! SO CUUUUUUTTTTTEEE!! XD XD XD -starts taking pictures-

everyone: -sweatdrop-

itachi: TT.TT -goes to uber emo corner-

jjle: now for the next letter! -reads the next letter-

**from: XxOrigamixMasterxKonanxX**

**OH!! Question for Deidei!!**

**Hehehe...would you ever date Sasori-danna?**

dongz: -le gasp- OMG! ITS THE AUTHOR OF AKATSUKI HIGH!! -starts ranting and acting like an obsessed fan-

jjle: -vein pops out- SEMPAI! SNAP OUT OF IT! -starts slapping some sense into dongz-

everyone: -sweatdrop-

dongz: -finally has some control- fine... answer, pwease...

deidara: -reads the letter- of course yes, un! n.n

jjle: -loks at itachi- uhhhh... deidei, itachi-sama doesnt look too good...

itachi: -goes to uber emo corner-

dongz: wow! since when did we had an improved emo corner?

jjle: ever since itachi is ranting about something between the lines of deidei cheating on him and his happy moments with deidei...

everyone: -sweatdrop-

dongz: NEXT QUESTION! -reads the next letter-

**from: Zozo.x**

**Ah poor itachi**

**ill keep you happy tachi darling, ill be all your love**

**and will deidei and sasori please stop making out, its making my lil tachi-kun sad**

**and Sasuke is a nice person but with mental problems who should go and do some nice dirty yaoi stuff with Naruto **

itachi: -hopeful- really? youre gonna keep me happy?

sasuke: I DONT HAVE MENTAL PROBLEMS! AND WHY SHOULD I DO YAOI STUFF WITH NARUTO?! DX

jjle: -puts his hands to his pockets- because ever since you had some drama concerning naruto, the sasunaru pairing bloomed.

dongz: and besides, who in freaking jashin wouldnt think of the possibilties.

jjle: -nods- true...

sasuke: I TOLD YOU! I DONT WANT TO!! DX

deidara: -totally clueless- uhhhh... we already stopped making out a few hours early, un.

dongz: NEXT LETTER!! -reads the next letter-

**from: dongz-sempai95**

**yo! im not here for requests or any bullshit but i just want to send this tape to you! -throws the tape to pein's head- Ja Ne!**

pein: -rubs his head- why am i always hit? T.T

konan: -takes the tape- whats this?

dongz, jjle: -grins-

akatsuki: -sweatdrop-

konan: -shakes her head- guess we have to find out. -puts the tape to the player-

_**MOVIE NO JUTSU!**_

_-in itachi's room, aroun_d _11 in the night. his phone rings-_

_itachi: -picks up his phone- hello?_

_deidara: -on the other line- -voice shaking as though he was crying- itachi, un?_

_itachi: (imagine him singing "lips of an angel" lolz)_

_Honey why you calling me so late?  
It's kinda hard to talk right now.  
Honey why are you crying? Is everything okay?  
I gotta whisper 'cause I can't be too loud_

_Well, my girl's in the next room _(itachi's girl is a random fangirl)_  
Sometimes I wish she was you  
I guess we never really moved on  
It's really good to hear your voice say my name  
It sounds so sweet  
Coming from the lips of an angel  
Hearing those words it makes me weak_

_And I never wanna say goodbye  
But girl you make it hard to be faithful  
With the lips of an angel_

_It's funny that you're calling me tonight  
And, yes, I've dreamt of you too  
And does he know you're talking to me  
Will it start a fight  
No I don't think she has a clue_

_Well my girl's in the next room  
Sometimes I wish she was you  
I guess we never really moved on  
It's really good to hear your voice say my name  
It sounds so sweet  
Coming from the lips of an angel  
Hearing those words it makes me weak_

_And I never wanna say goodbye  
But girl you make it hard to be faithful  
With the lips of an angel_

_It's really good to hear your voice say my name  
It sounds so sweet  
Coming from the lips of an angel  
Hearing those words it makes me weak_

_And I never wanna say goodbye  
But girl you make it hard to be faithful  
With the lips of an angel_

_And I never wanna say goodbye  
But girl you make it hard to be faithful  
With the lips of an angel_

_Honey why you calling me so late?_

_**END OF MOVIE NO JUTSU**_

dongz: -grins- i could see conflict between sasori and itachi again..

jjle: -grins- good job, sempai! atleast some flavor in this fic! -does a high-five w/ dongz-

deidara: -really scared about the growing conflict between his danna and itachi- -to dongz and jjle- when did you caught that moment on tape, un?!

dongz: -ignores deidara- thats the end of the chappie. please send reviews and if you want, vote for who will win in the itachi-sasori conflict. i'll check by the end of the week. but be warned, the seme that wins will _permanently_ have deidara all by himself.

**_FOR HACK/GU FANS (JUST IN CASE THERE ARE SOME WHO ARE READING THIS), CAN SOMEONE PLEASE GIVE ME SOME SORT OF PLOT BECAUSE I'M PLANNING TO WRITE A KUHN/PI ROMANTIC COMEDY (I'LL MAKE SURE IT GOT ENDRANCE IN IT! XD) THANKS IN ADVANCE._**


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